Friday, January 5, 2007

What's in a Dream?

I had a strange dream last night. BF and I went to Knoxville to visit Joel. Keep in mind BF has never met Joel, let alone even heard of him. We got to his house and he wasn't home. We decided to let ourselves in and the place was a total mess. Being the neat freak that I am, I totally cleaned the place up. A couple of his friends came by and told me that Joel was at work and that they hated the clean look of the house. So, I left. I don't know where BF went. When I returned, his friends were still there playing video games and smoking a joint. They said Joel was upstairs asleep, so I went up to see him. I sat on the bed next to him and he woke up, looked at me and gave me a big kiss and hug. I asked if I could sleep in his bed with him at which he said, no, because of his friends being there. Then he asked if I was ready to go to the Scissor Sisters concert. I said yes, but that BF would like to go too, since they are his favorite band. So, I went outside his bedroom to find BF. The layout of the house had completely changed. It was now like an Aspen Ski Resort and I could see down into the main living room. BF was laying down on a couch in front of a big stone fireplace. I yelled down to him that there were still tickets available for the show and asked if he wanted to go. He did, and got on the phone to order tix for himself. I went back into Joel's room, made out a little, and Joel got dressed. We talked about some other shit, but I can't remember what. Probably just dream garble. You know how that is. That's all I can remember. I guess it ended or I woke up. It was very vivid, though. Pretty stupid dream, eh?

Do you think dreams have some hidden meaning? Are they just a rehash of the day's forgotten thoughts? Why am I obsessed with someone I haven't seen in years? I do think about him everyday, but why? I always loved him as a friend, but we never even fooled around. The crazy thing is... Joel quite possibly isn't even interested in guys. But in my mind, I feel that I have to know for sure. I'm anxious to see if he responds to my letter. I feel guilty having these feelings when I have a boyfriend who loves me so much. Maybe I'm just mentally bored with BF and unconsciously looking for something to get my wheels turning. Maybe I'm just crazy. We'll see. Anyone have any insight??

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