Win Some Lose Some

Well...my beloved Tennessee Titans are done for the year. They put up a good fight against the Pats, but to no avail. I have no doubt in my mind that they will make it to the post season next year. Vince Young, turned this team around and turned a 0-5 start into .500 season, and more than likely will get rookie of the year for 2006.Way to go VY!! JP, congrats on your Giants making it into the playoffs, if it wasn't for Eli, I would be cheering them on. I guess I'll be rooting for the Pats in January, though.

On a winning note, the Nashville Predators shut out Boston last night 5-0. It was a very fun game. I thought I was gonna have shitty seats, but they turned out to be pretty good. In the section to my left was Vince Gill and Amy Grant. To my right was American Idol loser, Kellie Pickler. I do believe she is as stupid as she lets on. She's actually prettier in person, but also a lot shorter than I thought. I was mad that I didn't have my camera with me, as I would have had several ops to get a pic taken with her. Oh well, such is life. At least the Preds won.


I hope everyone has a very Happy and Safe New Year. BF and I are still trying to decide if we're going out or just staying in tonight. Either way, I'm fine. I'm just glad I have an extra day to sleep in. As promised, I will have the second half of yesterday's post up soon. Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!!!

Parthenon and the Walking Man

For those that have never been to Nashville, which I imagine is the majority, I highly recommend a visit. It truly is a lot more than country music and cowboy boots. For being in the south, it’s actually quite a laid back little city. And being the publishing and music recording capitol of the world, it is rather gay friendly. (Though, I wouldn’t suggest walking hand in hand through some parts of the city). I'm going to occasionally try to post photos that I've shot from around town to show some of the neat things to be found here. I hope you enjoy them. This first one is the Parthenon, an exact replica from the plans of the original found in Greece. Built in 1896 as part of the World Expo/Tennessee Centennial Celebration, it was restored several years ago. Its located in Centennial Park, my favorite of many parks found here. It is also where I met my first trick.

It was a beautiful late spring evening. The sun was just beginning to descend below the horizon. My mind was bouncing between my high school graduation in two weeks and what I wanted to do with my last summer before college. I was driving around, killing time before meeting up with friends later. I pulled into McDonalds to get a couple of burgers and a coke. Being that it was so nice out, and the fact that the park entrance was basically right there, I decided to drive through the park and find a nice place to eat. I was looking for a good spot, when I noticed a tall guy walking along the way. As I passed by him I heard a resounding, "Hey!!". I knew exactly what he was "heying" at, since the park was known as a particularly cruisy place at the time. I continued on for a few hundred yards before finding a good place to pull over and eat. I was almost finished with my first burger when I noticed the walking man sitting on a nearby picnic table casting glances my way. I thought for a minute, and told myself, "Fuck it, let's see what happens." Upon this decision my heart started racing and I totally lost my appetite. I threw away my remaining McDs and walked towards the Parthenon. I walked about half way around it and sat down on the side steps. I looked back to see if walking man was following. He was nowhere to be seen. I was a bit disappointed, but at the same time relieved that he was gone. I sat there for a moment looking out over the grassy lawn. " I must be crazy", I thought to myself. "I can't believe what I was about to do. When is this gay phase gonna pass?" As I was about to get up to go back to my car, I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see walking man emerging from behind one of the large pillars....

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Sorry guys, I don't mean to leave ya hangin'. I've run outta time right now. It's hockey night and I gotta get ready to head downtown for the game. I'll finish up what happened in the next post.


Peace

New Lesson Learned

DOH!!! I can't fucking believe it. I was a paragraph away from a great post, with a great story, and I lose my GD connection. I had typed for over an hour on it, and its fucking gone. Arghhh.. I guess I'll just have to start typing my posts in Word before putting it up for publishing. Makes me so mad!!! I promise I'll recreate what i was typing.

Trying to Be a Better Blogger

First off, I’d like to give a big THANKS to Tim over at I Think I Might Be Gay. He was kind enough to link my blog on his side-bar. My first link. WooHoo! I feel so special. So, Thank You, Tim!! My hits have increased dramatically. Everyone should check out his blog. I’m sure a lot of us can relate to what he is going through, whether we’re already out or just thinking about it. Also, I would like to thank Micifus. For it was his site that motivated me to start my own little blog and also led me to Tim’s. So, Thank You too, Phil! Ive enjoyed catching a glimpse into your lives and look forward to more.

As for my own blog...anyone who would like to give any tips on ways to improve it, feel free to comment or email me with suggestions. Layout, graphics, am I too wordy? You won't hurt my feelings.
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Ok, just one more day til the weekend. I think I can make it. For a short week, it has felt like an eternity. Im so glad New Year’s Day is falling on a Monday. I need another long weekend. Hopefully, I’ll have a chance to work on my blog a little bit. Time is scarce, though. It’s a busy weekend here in the Music City. Aside from UK and Clemson meeting here for their big bowl game tomorrow, the Predators take on those pesky Boston Bruins Sat. night (we’ve got decent seats that night). And the Colorado Avalanche comes to town Monday (fuckin’ great seats for this one). And of course my new friend, Vince Young, will hopefully be taking the Titans to a victory over the Patriots on Sunday to keep our playoff dreams alive (no seats for this one). With the Pats & Bruins, there should be a good handful of Bostonians in town this weekend. BF and I will have to scour Craig’s List to see if anyone needs a little southern hospitality. Heehee.

Now, if I could just find out where Tom Brady will be staying.

Long Lost Joel

Well, I wasn't too hung over from the $8 arena beers, and luckily not too broke either. BF bought most of them since I payed for the tickets. Our initial seats were pretty crappy nosebleeds, but we quickly scoped out and moved to some empty seats down low, and enjoyed the rest of the game. The Preds didn't play all that well. We won in an overtime shootout. The Blues have lost to the Predators 12 straight times now. OK, enough about hockey.

I'm sitting here at my desk, bored off my ass. The holidays have left me with little work. I suppose its a good thing, considering how crazy my job usually is this time of the month. I should probably just enjoy it while I can. In my boredom I was googling various things/people. I did a search on a boy I used to really like (maybe even love), named Joel.

Joel and I worked and hung out together a good bit when I was in college. I haven't seen or talked to him in many years. I actually moved away without even saying goodbye. I came across where he just bought a house not far from where I lived in Knoxville. I did a bit more searching and found the address and phone number. I'm very tempted to contact him, but I'm afraid it would be too awkward. I don't even know what I'd say.

A little background on Joel.... I first met Joel when he applied for a job at the restaurant I was working. I was a 21 year old cook, he was an under qualified 15 year old, so he was hired as a dishwasher. He was a little punk-ass skater/thug wannabe, I was a typical dope smoking on again/off again college student that just worked so I could afford tickets to the next Grateful Dead show. Needless to say, Joel and I didn't really have much in common aside from getting high. Several months later the guy who worked with me on the line moved on to better things, and my boss thought it would be a good idea for me to train Joel (now 16) as my new assistant in the kitchen. So, not having much of a choice I was forced to work side by side with this kid. It didn't take long until we started to get to know each other better. We worked the late late shift so we had plenty of time to hang out and talk. Joel had a hard time of it growing up. He was definitely not a child of privilege. Turns out that he had dropped out of high school to work and help his mom pay the bills. I found it nice that behind his "tough ass, don't fuck with me" facade was a very warm, caring, and vulnerable guy. Whenever he would share something personal about his life, I would always have to promise that I wouldn't say anything to anyone. It was cute.

Joel never could afford a car, so I would always take him home after work. One night on the way home we were waiting at a stoplight. Joel turned to me and said, "Will...if you were gay, I really wouldn't care, it wouldn't bother me." I was stunned. I didn't know what to say at first. You see, I was very deep in the closet at the time. "How could he know?", I thought in my head. I swallowed hard and said, "Well, that's good. Why would you think that, though?" Turns out this girl at work who used to like me, but i refused all her advances, made some comic jab at me and called me gay. I told Joel, "Oh, that bitch calls everyone gay." I didn't confirm or deny the accusation. He never mentioned it again.

Life continued in the closet for me. Joel would continue to share things with me that he would never tell anyone else. I would jokingly refer to myself as his therapist. After a few months, Joel got fired. I was devastated. No more late night drives home. Joel would still come by my house and hang out, but due to conflicting work schedules our visits became fewer and fewer. It came to a point where we would only see each other on rare occasion. Strangely enough, toward the end, Joel would always greet me with a hug. Still so in the closet, i never had the courage to ask him if he was gay. Probably the best, because if he had said yes, I would have jumped his under-age bones on the spot. Anyway, the last time I saw him, he had finally bought a car. He was so proud and came to my work to show me. I was so happy for him. I remember the parting hug lasted a little longer than normal. I just wanted to hold him forever. He was now 18 and legal tender, but I still tried nothing. Three weeks later, I was loading up the moving van, and heading to Nashville, never to see or speak to Joel again. If I have one regret in life, it's that I waited way too long to come out. I still think of him often.

So, here I am pondering if I should send him a letter. No way, I would just call him out of the blue. I think writing would be better. Maybe just send an anonymous letter telling him to email me. My luck would be that he doesn't have a computer. Maybe I'm just crazy and holding on to feelings that I should have lost a long time ago. Perhaps I should just leave well enough alone.

Anyway, that's the Joel story, so if I mention him in future posts, you'll know who I'm talkin about.

Xmas over

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was as good as to be expected. Dinner with my Dad's side of the family on Xmas Eve. Brunch on Xmas morning/afternoon w/ the 'rents and my 2 sisters and nephew. Nothing too exciting. Its fun having a little one (1.5 yrs old) around for a change...until he starts to cry. Sometimes I think god made me gay so I wouldn't have children. I really don't think I would ever have the patience for it. BF was gone most of the weekend but got home from his family's place in East Tn. Xmas evening. We ate leftovers, traded gifts, caught a good buzz, had great sex and went to bed. Its funny how good sex is when your mate is gone for a little bit. I get so worked up lookin at porn and bein a tease w/ the guys in the chat rooms...by the time bf gets home Im ready to explode. And usually do not long after.

We're about to leave for the hockey game. Nashville is up against the St Louis Blues tonight. Should be a good game. I just need to pace myself on the $8 beers, or I'll find myself broke and hungover in the morning. I know what you may be thinking..."hockey? How Butch!!"...well, yeah, it is. Not only is it a great place to boywatch, but I actually love the game too.

So, Here We Go

If I have to see or hear another ad for Hardees/Carls Jr., I'm going to puke. That voiceover guy needs to be silenced. And the way they love to key in on the sounds of the food and the wrappers...UGH!! They can take their chili cheese burger and stick up their ass. I mean, really..... who eats that shit anyway? I sure don't, and not just because of their annoying ads.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. From what I can remember, I stayed up way too late with BF after we got home from the hockey game. The Preds lost to Buffalo 2-7..."bad Preds". No telling how many beers we had at the game, but the drinking continued on well after. It was a gloomy Nashville morning, and the alarm clock was the last thing I wanted to hear. I hit the snooze an extra time before i struggled out of bed. BF had the day off and was sleeping away. I was jealous.
I made it to work 15 minutes late, head still throbbing. There was nothing going on today, so I was able to nap on and off in my office. I work with the financial field, so when Banks are slow, I am too. Being the Friday before Xmas, it was quiet, so I left around 1:00. I came home and took BF to a late lunch at the little mexican place we like. After a good Margarita the remains of the pains brought on from last night quickly vanished. All was good again in the world.
Three days til Xmas and still no presents purchased...doh. I guess I better bite the bullet and just head to the mall.
I'm creating this Blog as an outlet for venting and reflection. If you are offended by anything gay, adult oriented, or anything else I say, I'm not sorry. You don't have to read it, so piss off!
To those who don't care, I welcome you and hope you like what you read. I really don't know much about creating blogs, so bear with me as I learn.

Peace