in re: Last Friday

A few words on last Friday's post. To the few of you who emailed me or mentioned the topic of on your blogs, I thank you for the feedback. Jeff, over at Resonating Journey had some good points and insights into the more positive side of the matter. Definitley, check it out.

I believe I may have offended some by my generalizations of gay relationships. That was not my intention, nor was making anyone in a new or newly formed relationship fear they are destined to a life of infidelities. Perhaps I wrote too hastily that "EVERY" gay relationship at one time or another has to face such a situation. Maybe there are some out there that never will. I hope that is the case. After all, there is no worse feeling than discovering that you've been cheated on. I don't wish it on anyone. I think it would be safe to assume that fooling around is the downfall of a great majority of LTR's. For most that this happens to, it means the end of their relationship. When it happened to me, it was no different. I immediately declared it to be over. We had been together for about two years at the time. He had gotten drunk at a party, ran into a guy he used to know, and one thing led to another. The grapevine has alot of bare patches in Nashville, and it didn't take me long to find out. It was not an ongoing thing, but nevertheless, it happened. Due to our financial status back in 1999, he couldn't afford to move out anymore than I could afford to kick him out. We kept separate bedrooms for a while. As an attempt at revenge, I hooked-up with a guy I knew, and made sure BF knew. It was stupid and juvenile. Having sex with another guy did not, in the end, help with my true feelings. BF knew he made a mistake and that he hurt me deeply. We were still, however, very much in love. We ended up working things out, and have maintained a strong loving relationship ever since.

I didn't mean to come off in my post that he and I (or most gay couples) are some wild & crazy swingers who try to fuck other people whenever we get the chance. Its not like that at all. I can count on half a full hand, how many men I've been with in the past 9 years, as can he. By no means are we in competition with each other over sexual escapades. Definitley, not at all fuck-buddies who live together. Understand though, that after nine years with the same person the mental connect gets better and better, but the physical hits a plateau. You go from having sex every night the first year, to once or twice a week, if that, in year 9 (again, not everyone). I know what some are saying..."well, that wouldn't happen to us." Maybe not, but don't judge til you've been there that long.

So, what happens when the physical excitement just isn't there like it once was? You've tried role play, toys, bringing in a third, anything you can to spice it up in the bedroom. Its all fine and dandy, but again, gets old. Do you just throw away the relationship? ----"I love you so much, but you're just not doin' it for me in the sack, please pack your knives and go".---- No, of course you don't. You stay together and continue to have hot boring sex every now and then. So, if your mate happens to get a bj from some guy at a conference in Seattle, is safe and honest, and will never see the guy again, do you just toss it out the window? (honest and safe being the key words). Well, maybe some guys would. I personally, at this stage of my relationship, do not feel like its a threat to his and my bond. Now, if I found out he was making a habit of it or actually "seeing" someone (as in anything more than a one time meeting), the story would be completely different.

Of course, I know not EVERY relationship will encounter cheating, but I see and hear that many many, in fact, do have to deal with it at some point. Some end it there, some get by it and persevere. It's all up to the individual couple. And truly, I hope it doesn't ever happen to any of the readers here. I do not ask, nor expect anyone to agree with everything I write about, but please do not condemn or judge me as a bad person for my thoughts on certain matters. Really, I am a kind, loving person. Again, I agree that my post was harsh, negative, and a somewhat depressing generalization, but hey...at least it got a few of you talking.

Cant take the excitement

God, I can't believe its Wednesday (going on Thurs) already. Ive been terribly busy with work and the week is flying by. I'm glad, but I wouldn't mind work slowing down just a bit. All this talk about the housing market going bust..well, you could've fooled me. Ive closed more new home purchases these past two weeks than I did the whole month of March. And with all the refinancing going on out of ARMs, life has been nuts. Nashville has definitely not seen the bubble burst. Fortunately, I have been able to squeeze in enough time to make it to the gym a few times a week.

The past weekend sucked for the most part. BF was out of town. I played around in the chat rooms, but as I had guessed, nobody worth even talking to. I ended up studying my spanish and playing scrabble online instead. Saturday, I got up early (for a Saturday), cleaned the house, ate an early lunch (a leftover half of a steak sandwich and a chicken empenada). I then went to REI to try and find a new pair of sandals as my Birks have about reached their time. Ive always worn Birkenstocks, but am thinking about a change. I'm looking at a pair of Keen. They have several styles I like, but haven't committed to them yet, so Im still shopping around. Also went to Borders to check out what new books they had. Nothing I couldn't live without, so I just read magazines. Saturday night poker sucked. I kept getting dealt great hands. However, someone else would always one-up me. I was so pissed. On the first hand, I got dealt a pair of aces in texas hold'em, so naturally made a large bet. Ended up getting beat by 3 threes. Story of my night. After about 2.5 hours, and 3 buy-ins, I left with a $200 hole in my pocket. On the upside, my best friend gave me an eighth of the funk-bud to make me feel better (it's nice having friends in the biz). I came home, toked a little, and went to bed.

Sunday, went to my sister's house and cooked brunch for Mother's Day. It wasn't bad. Drank mimosas and ate too much. Afterwards, just came home, washed clothes, trimmed Ivy and weeded the flower beds. BF got home from E. Tn. we hung out, he talked a lot about his crazy family back east, we went to dinner, and that's about it.

Oh, and on a really good note...Adios Jerry Falwell!! Rest in hell, Mother Fucker!!! (is that too harsh?)

Ain't life grand?

Finally Friday

Ahhh, the weekend at last. I only worked four days this week, but it has seemed like forever. Nothing major on tap for this weekend. My oldest sister will be in town with her hubby and my nephew for Mother's Day. It will be nice to see them. I think we'll probably be hanging at my other sister's house since it's closer than my parent's and has a pool. Sunday we'll do brunch. I'll do the cooking ( I always do, since I used to do it for a living). I'm fine with that as long as my sister keeps the mimosas pouring.

BF is heading east to see his family, so I have the house to myself this weekend. I always think I'm going to hook-up with some cutie while he's gone, but it rarely, if ever, happens. I surf around on gay.com or manhunt, but it always ends up in me just getting someone's hopes up and then deciding I want nothing to do with them. I'm such a chatroom tease. I've only messed around with 2 other guys since BF and I have been together. One was while we were on a "break" (not dramatic like Ross & Rachel). The other time was last year when BF was in CA. and I was 3 sheets to the wind and extremely turned on. Luckily we're honest in our relationship and I told him about it. When you've been together as long as we have (almost 9 years), you realize an occasional trick is just sex, and not the other looking for a new bf. Some guys in fairly new relationships think that is insane and that it will never happen to them.....yeah right, just wait. It happens in EVERY gay LTR, like it or not (unless you're both just so butt ugly and no one would dare touch you). If you don' t think you could handle it, save yourself the trouble and stay single. Feel free to debate this matter.

I know of a few tricks BF has had in our time together while he's been on the road. As long as he's safe, I can't blame him. Sex is sex. It sucks until you finally accept that fact. Life is not kind, so ya just gotta roll.

Anyway, I'll let y'all know how nothing went later this weekend. Hope it's a good one for everybody. Peace.

Aqui, otra vez

Well, after a much needed break, I am back behind the keyboard. Aside from the last few games of the Stanley Cup Final, I'm done with hockey until October. With the series loss of the San Jose Sharks and the NY Rangers, there is not one remaining team that I care about in the NHL playoffs. I honestly didn't care about the Sharks either, but they were the ones who knocked out Nashville, so at least I could have said that we lost to the Stanley Cup champs. Now we just officially suck as a playoff team. Such is life.

I can now focus my spare time on more important things. One thing I'd like to do is find a Spanish speaking friend, whether online or in person. As I mentioned in the last post, BF and I are heading to Buenos Aires in November, and I'm trying to sand the rust of what little espanol I know. I took 4 years of honors Spanish in high school, and was actually pretty good at it for a pot smoking teenager. But that was a long long time ago during which I replaced a lot of that knowledge with learning German. Anyway, Id love to meet a cool guy to practice the language with (preferably one from Argentina who knows the regional colloquialisms and can help me out). My old textbooks can only useful to a degree. Yes, I have tried the gay Spanish chat rooms, but you know how those conversations go.

Anyway, we've chosen our lodging already, a nice modern loft in the Recoleta neighborhood with a nice balcony to enjoy the warm air. November is the heart of springtime down there. Coincidentally, we found out that Pride Week is scheduled for the same time we will be in town. From what we hear, it is the largest Pride Fest & Parade in South America, rivaled only by Rio's festivities. We are really excited now. We are also trying to decide what side trip(s) to take. If anyone has spent time in B.A. and has any suggestions, please let me know.

I hope I still have some readers, after my brief hiatus. I will try to post at least once a week, and more often if the need arises. Life has been rather mundane lately with little to share. Hopefully that will soon change with summer quickly approaching.

Oh yeah, by the way, my new tenant is in fact gay and has perfect credit. Yay!!!! Hope everyone is doing well!!

Puck Off

Well, The Nashville Predators lost again in the first round of the playoffs. Pafuckinthetic! I guess I'll be rooting for the NY Rangers to win the cup. Oh well, maybe next year. In a way, I'm glad the hockey season is over. Now, I can get back to saving money for Argentina in the fall.

Oops, I forgot...I've got a blog

Well, it's been too long since Ive posted. I guess my excuse is being busy and not having tons to blog about. Here's a few things that have been going on the past week:
NHL Playoffs...My Preds are down 2-1 against San Jose with Game 4 being played tonight at the shark tank. Nashville really needs to win tonight or its gonna be tough coming home on Friday for Game 5. The fans have been louder and wilder than years past. Luckily BF and I are in Club Level for these games (thanks to my company).
Most all of the trees in Nashville look dead thanks to a late season freeze which totally annihilated the green beauty of spring. Now all the leaves are falling and looks like a sick autumn.
My new tenant moved in. He seems like a really good guy. He came here from FL to manage a well known restaurant here in town. I can't put my finger on him as gay, yet. He's single, well groomed, has been a waiter for 12 years, and has a really good sense of design. Yeah...I'm pretty sure hes one of us.
I got to go shopping for the first time in months. It had been way too long. Got some great new clothes for summer, and some much needed new office duds. It's amazing what a few new outfits and a fresh haircut can do for your mood and well being.
I won $250 at poker the other night.
Went to the dentist today. They were very happy about my dental condition. However, they did find what looks to be the start of a cavity. I was crushed. I have never in my life had a cavity. It's something Ive always boasted about. Oh well, such is life.
Hopefully I'll have some more time to post now that next door is completely done. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week.

New Ear Candy

So, after many recommendations, I stopped at FYE on the way home from the gym on Tuesday evening and bought the Mika CD. Of course, I was already familiar and infatuated with Grace Kelly and Love Today, but the other tracks were all new to me. I didn't know what to think of them at first. A few I liked right off the bat. Others, I wasn't so sure about. But, by the third full listen I was hooked. Not a bad song on it. Very infectious. You can hear hints of several great artists throughout; Queen, The Beatles, Sir Elton, just to name a few (but with an updated twist). I think I may even like his cover of Satellite better than DMB's version. This will probably be another one of the CDs that I really won't be able to get sick of. The last one like that was Ta-Dah by Scissor Sisters. If you like SS, you will like Mika.

Can't Stop

Not too long ago I developed a new addiction. Luckily, its not one that costs me too much money, and no one can tell I'm a junky unless they get a good look at my gums. However, I do like to be by myself when I do it, so know one else can see the monster in me. It started a little over a year ago. I hadn't been to the dentist in probably 10 years or more, and to be honest, didn't plan on going. A strong phobia and my own laziness kept me away (mostly the phobia). Ive always been good about brushing twice a day, and believe it or not, I have never had a cavity. However, it had gotten to a point that my gums would bleed a little when i brushed. I wrote it off to brushing too hard.

The company I work for has great health care benefits, but sadly enough, no dental. So, when BF came home and said he had enrolled me for dental insurance through his work (his company offers Domestic Partner benefits), I was glad, but at the same time worried. I knew that I would have to go in for at least a cleaning within six months of enrollment or lose the benefit. He pestered and pestered me up until that sixth month when I finally scheduled an appointment. Sitting in the chair, looking around at all the implements designed for oral torture, I could feel a bead of sweat roll down my forehead. The hygienist came in, poked and prodded about in my mouth and took x-rays. Several minutes later, the dentist came in and pulled the x-rays up on the monitor. I was in the early stages of periodontal disease. They were going to have to do some major cleaning. I forget what the procedure was called, but it took about two hours and three shots of Novocaine. Basically they had to go up under the gums with a super high pressure (and high-pitched) water-pic and a scraper. It was utter hell. I couldn't feel my mouth for hours afterwards, but when I could, man did it suck. The dentist said my problem didn’t stem from a lack of brushing, but because I didn’t floss regularly. So, needless to stay, I started flossing at least once a day, just so I wouldn't have to go through that agony again.

At my last appointment, I got an A+, so to speak. My weakened gums had completely healed themselves. They are beautiful and lovely pink as opposed to the red they were previously. It’s amazing the amount of nastiness that gets trapped between your teeth that brushing just can’t get to no matter how hard you try. I have gotten to the point where if I don’t floss at least once a day, my mouth feels dirty. I even carry those little travel size floss-packs that the dentist gives you, so I can sneak away after a meal if need be and free the funk from between. I now look forward to my dentist visits, just so I can stock up on the freebies.

I honestly don’t know if you could call it an addiction or not, but it feels that way. Maybe its just OCD, but I really feel uncomfortable if something prevents my oral care. I guess its really just a good habit that I’ve gotten into. Maybe I’ll quit for a day or two and see if I get the shakes.

There Went Another

Well, the weekend flew by which means, I suppose, that I had a good time. On Friday night BF and I went to a wine social with some friends of ours. It's a monthly get together of folks with a different wine theme each time, like Argentinian Wines, or wines with oddly shaped bottles, various things like that. No one really even talks about the wine, they just like to drink and socialize. It was only about a crowd of 20 or so. I was pouring myself a glass of pinot when this really cute guy came and introduced himself to me. He stood about 6'1, dirty-blond hair, great eyes and wonderful lips, probably about 25, 26 years old, who knows? I really couldn't tell if he was gay or not, but I kinda got a few hints that he was sorta hitting on me. Very ambiguous, but nonetheless (especially the light arm touch to emphasize a point). Anyway, as he was jabbering on about the Euro and how it has affected the Irish economy, all I could think about was taking him outside and enjoying those lips of his. Of course that wasn't going to happen with BF there, unless he was to join in also, heehee. (now that I think about it, I should've suggested it). Oh Well.

I remember riding home, but not actually getting home. according to BF, I went straight to the bedroom, layed down on the rug at the foot of the bed, and slept for an hour before finding my way under the covers.

Needless to say, I spent all of Saturday morning in bed. After a quart of ice-water, 2 Advils, and an orange, I read the paper, and was ready for lunch. I had to go to Lowes for some spray-paint. BF came along for the ride. There's a great little BBQ place near Lowes, so we ate there. They have a great BBQ turkey sandwich that goes really good with a cold 32 oz draft. After lunch we came home and worked around the house a bit until it was time to go to the hockey game.

Great crowd, crappy game. Got our asses handed to us by the Dallas Stars. Almost got in a fight with the most obnoxious Dallas fan. I'm not a violent person at all, so that tells you how bad this guy was. Luckily, BF was there to keep me cool. (i've never started a fight in my life, but I know how to defend). After the game, I thought I'd go try my luck at the weekly poker game.

Usual crowd. I bought in for $60. Started off slow, but soon got some hands worth playing. Had a few good bluffs, but then I got nailed on a couple of bad beats and lost most of my dough. I bought in for another $40 which, unfortunately, disappeared after another hour. As did I. On the cab ride home, I told myself, "no more poker." Ive lost too much the past few times I've played, and I'm tired of it. (I'll be back at the table next week).

Sunday was typical...slept late, went to brunch, complain there's not enough vodka in my bloody mary, call BF a girl for getting buzzed off mimosas, came home, relaxed, went and helped my sister move a new bed, came home, did a little bit of yard work, caught up on some shows we had TiVo'd, went out for Pizza, came home, watched Amazing Race, played some online Scrabble, read, thought about how long I could run on a sentence, and went to bed.

Hoorah!! It's Monday

Post on the Post

I don't consider myself a big environmentalist, so to speak. I don't attend protests and rallies, or give money to Greenpeace. However, I am environmentally conscious and recycle every bit of paper, plastic and aluminum allowed by "Metro Nashville Curby " (our curbside recycling service).

The other day, I opened my mailbox to find it was literally stuffed full. After sorting through it all, there was only one piece...one fucking piece... that wasn't junk. Look at that pile of waste; multiple coupons and deals to places I don't go, unwanted catalogs and mailers that, despite my efforts, won't remove me from their mailing list, and plenty of other pure crap. Of course, it all went straight to the recycle bin, but it made me think...every mailbox in my neighborhood is getting the same shit, and probably only half of them recycle like me and BF. It's awful that so much unnecessary garbage like this has to take up our landfills, just so Joe Blow can get two Whoppers for the price of one, and Wanda Wantmore can get the latest overpriced schwag from Pottery Barn. Multiply my little area with the rest of the city, and one can't miss but see the point. It's quite maddening. So, if you don't already....... please recycle.!!

Quick Reflection

Sometimes you can find beauty in odd places. It just shows up without even looking for it. One evening last week, I looked out my front door to see which neighborhood kid was making so much noise in the street with his skateboard. I recognized him, though I don't know his name. One of those teen kids you can tell will be really hot in about 5 years (*sigh*). I digress. Anyway, I looked at my car and saw the reflection of a beautiful sunset fading from behind a neighbor's tree. I grabbed my cam and got the following. The pics don't do the colors and scale justice, a touch blurry,but I thought I'd post anyhow.

Break's Over!

Well, now that winter has been officially over for a few days, I decided it was time to get back into my routine and head back to the gym. I haven't been since shortly before Christmas, and it shows (10 lbs in 3 months...that sucks). I should not have allowed myself to take the winter off, but alas, the cold makes me lazy and a good beer buzz keeps me warm. That and the fact I spent most of Feb and March redoing the other side of my duplex didn't help either (though the manual labor probably kept a few pounds off).

I had it planned for this week to go at least 4 times, alternating days on upper body and lower body along with a strong dose of cardio with each workout. Yesterday went according to plan. I had a great workout. I still need to get back to where I was 3 months ago, but that should come relatively quick. I can definitely feel it today, though. The thing now is, my sudden schedule for the rest of the week. I found out this morning that I have to do a 6:00 closing tonight 30 miles from home. By the time I get back it will be close to eight, at which time I will have to cook dinner, thus no time to work out today. I just had a 5 o'clock scheduled at the same bank tomorrow (I can still probably get in a good run, at least). BF reminded me last night that we have tix to the Predators/Red Wings game on Thurs. (no time between work and getting ready for the game to get any serious excercise in). And Friday night we have a 7:00 wine/dinner party to go to (again, maybe time for a brief jog). If only I was a morning person, I could fit in a workout everyday. But, I'm not. (I know...excuses, excuses). Luckily, next week isn't looking so hectic. We have only one hockey game to go to (last regular season home game), no late closings scheduled as of yet, and no social events on the calendar, so maybe I'll be back on track then. Look out boys, that winter insulation is going back in the attic.

Tulip Post 3

Well, I don't know what is going on with the tulips this season. They started off promising, but something has stunted them drastically. The bishop tulips are all usually out in full bloom by now. However, as you can see, only one managed to flourish. The others had begun to bud, but the flowers withered and fell off before they even got close to maturity. I want to write it off to a late frost, but that has never affected them in the past 3 seasons. Perhaps it's some kind of disease or bulb rot. The dutch tulips in front of them seem to be on a slow track, but I have noticed some small signs of buddage deep inside. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, as they are very beautiful bloomers. I think after they all die off for the season, I will transplant the bulbs elsewhere and maybe use this space for annuals.

signed & taken

Wow, I just realized I haven't posted in about a week. I've just been so busy, though. I've finally finished the renovation next door, and put it on the market for lease. BF convinced me to advertise it for 50 bucks more thanI was going to, so I did. After just 5 days of showing the place, I received a qualifying application, took a deposit and have a signed 12 month lease in hand. And thanks to BF, taking in an additional 400 bucks a year. The funny thing is, I haven't met the guy in person. The company he works for (one that I know well) is transferring him here from FL. I sent him pics of the place, he had his boss come look at it, and the deal is done. He moves here in mid-April. From first impression by talking to him over the phone and his background, I think he is gay, or so I hope (more on that later). I'd love to have family living next door. Anyway, I just wanted to put up a quick post to let y'all know I'm still alive and things are going well. Hope you are all having a great week.

so be it

Well, they didn't accept our offer on the house. No big deal. I didn't have my hopes up anyway. The Predators lost to the Red Wings last night. Work continues to suck this week. My little toe is feeling much better, though. The weekend can't come quickly enough.