Will's Way

in re: Last Friday

2007-05-23T00:02:00.000-04:00

A few words on last Friday's post. To the few of you who emailed me or mentioned the topic of on your blogs, I thank you for the feedback. Jeff, over at Resonating Journey had some good points and insights into the more positive side of the matter. Definitley, check it out.

I believe I may have offended some by my generalizations of gay relationships. That was not my intention, nor was making anyone in a new or newly formed relationship fear they are destined to a life of infidelities. Perhaps I wrote too hastily that "EVERY" gay relationship at one time or another has to face such a situation. Maybe there are some out there that never will. I hope that is the case. After all, there is no worse feeling than discovering that you've been cheated on. I don't wish it on anyone. I think it would be safe to assume that fooling around is the downfall of a great majority of LTR's. For most that this happens to, it means the end of their relationship. When it happened to me, it was no different. I immediately declared it to be over. We had been together for about two years at the time. He had gotten drunk at a party, ran into a guy he used to know, and one thing led to another. The grapevine has alot of bare patches in Nashville, and it didn't take me long to find out. It was not an ongoing thing, but nevertheless, it happened. Due to our financial status back in 1999, he couldn't afford to move out anymore than I could afford to kick him out. We kept separate bedrooms for a while. As an attempt at revenge, I hooked-up with a guy I knew, and made sure BF knew. It was stupid and juvenile. Having sex with another guy did not, in the end, help with my true feelings. BF knew he made a mistake and that he hurt me deeply. We were still, however, very much in love. We ended up working things out, and have maintained a strong loving relationship ever since.

I didn't mean to come off in my post that he and I (or most gay couples) are some wild & crazy swingers who try to fuck other people whenever we get the chance. Its not like that at all. I can count on half a full hand, how many men I've been with in the past 9 years, as can he. By no means are we in competition with each other over sexual escapades. Definitley, not at all fuck-buddies who live together. Understand though, that after nine years with the same person the mental connect gets better and better, but the physical hits a plateau. You go from having sex every night the first year, to once or twice a week, if that, in year 9 (again, not everyone). I know what some are saying..."well, that wouldn't happen to us." Maybe not, but don't judge til you've been there that long.

So, what happens when the physical excitement just isn't there like it once was? You've tried role play, toys, bringing in a third, anything you can to spice it up in the bedroom. Its all fine and dandy, but again, gets old. Do you just throw away the relationship? ----"I love you so much, but you're just not doin' it for me in the sack, please pack your knives and go".---- No, of course you don't. You stay together and continue to have hot boring sex every now and then. So, if your mate happens to get a bj from some guy at a conference in Seattle, is safe and honest, and will never see the guy again, do you just toss it out the window? (honest and safe being the key words). Well, maybe some guys would. I personally, at this stage of my relationship, do not feel like its a threat to his and my bond. Now, if I found out he was making a habit of it or actually "seeing" someone (as in anything more than a one time meeting), the story would be completely different.

Of course, I know not EVERY relationship will encounter cheating, but I see and hear that many many, in fact, do have to deal with it at some point. Some end it there, some get by it and persevere. It's all up to the individual couple. And truly, I hope it doesn't ever happen to any of the readers here. I do not ask, nor expect anyone to agree with everything I write about, but please do not condemn or judge me as a bad person for my thoughts on certain matters. Really, I am a kind, loving person. Again, I agree that my post was harsh, negative, and a somewhat depressing generalization, but hey...at least it got a few of you talking.

Cant take the excitement

2007-05-16T23:57:00.000-04:00

God, I can't believe its Wednesday (going on Thurs) already. Ive been terribly busy with work and the week is flying by. I'm glad, but I wouldn't mind work slowing down just a bit. All this talk about the housing market going bust..well, you could've fooled me. Ive closed more new home purchases these past two weeks than I did the whole month of March. And with all the refinancing going on out of ARMs, life has been nuts. Nashville has definitely not seen the bubble burst. Fortunately, I have been able to squeeze in enough time to make it to the gym a few times a week.

The past weekend sucked for the most part. BF was out of town. I played around in the chat rooms, but as I had guessed, nobody worth even talking to. I ended up studying my spanish and playing scrabble online instead. Saturday, I got up early (for a Saturday), cleaned the house, ate an early lunch (a leftover half of a steak sandwich and a chicken empenada). I then went to REI to try and find a new pair of sandals as my Birks have about reached their time. Ive always worn Birkenstocks, but am thinking about a change. I'm looking at a pair of Keen. They have several styles I like, but haven't committed to them yet, so Im still shopping around. Also went to Borders to check out what new books they had. Nothing I couldn't live without, so I just read magazines. Saturday night poker sucked. I kept getting dealt great hands. However, someone else would always one-up me. I was so pissed. On the first hand, I got dealt a pair of aces in texas hold'em, so naturally made a large bet. Ended up getting beat by 3 threes. Story of my night. After about 2.5 hours, and 3 buy-ins, I left with a $200 hole in my pocket. On the upside, my best friend gave me an eighth of the funk-bud to make me feel better (it's nice having friends in the biz). I came home, toked a little, and went to bed.

Sunday, went to my sister's house and cooked brunch for Mother's Day. It wasn't bad. Drank mimosas and ate too much. Afterwards, just came home, washed clothes, trimmed Ivy and weeded the flower beds. BF got home from E. Tn. we hung out, he talked a lot about his crazy family back east, we went to dinner, and that's about it.

Oh, and on a really good note...Adios Jerry Falwell!! Rest in hell, Mother Fucker!!! (is that too harsh?)

Ain't life grand?

Finally Friday

2007-05-11T17:10:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, the weekend at last. I only worked four days this week, but it has seemed like forever. Nothing major on tap for this weekend. My oldest sister will be in town with her hubby and my nephew for Mother's Day. It will be nice to see them. I think we'll probably be hanging at my other sister's house since it's closer than my parent's and has a pool. Sunday we'll do brunch. I'll do the cooking ( I always do, since I used to do it for a living). I'm fine with that as long as my sister keeps the mimosas pouring.

BF is heading east to see his family, so I have the house to myself this weekend. I always think I'm going to hook-up with some cutie while he's gone, but it rarely, if ever, happens. I surf around on gay.com or manhunt, but it always ends up in me just getting someone's hopes up and then deciding I want nothing to do with them. I'm such a chatroom tease. I've only messed around with 2 other guys since BF and I have been together. One was while we were on a "break" (not dramatic like Ross & Rachel). The other time was last year when BF was in CA. and I was 3 sheets to the wind and extremely turned on. Luckily we're honest in our relationship and I told him about it. When you've been together as long as we have (almost 9 years), you realize an occasional trick is just sex, and not the other looking for a new bf. Some guys in fairly new relationships think that is insane and that it will never happen to them.....yeah right, just wait. It happens in EVERY gay LTR, like it or not (unless you're both just so butt ugly and no one would dare touch you). If you don' t think you could handle it, save yourself the trouble and stay single. Feel free to debate this matter.

I know of a few tricks BF has had in our time together while he's been on the road. As long as he's safe, I can't blame him. Sex is sex. It sucks until you finally accept that fact. Life is not kind, so ya just gotta roll.

Anyway, I'll let y'all know how nothing went later this weekend. Hope it's a good one for everybody. Peace.

Aqui, otra vez

2007-05-08T23:02:00.000-04:00

Well, after a much needed break, I am back behind the keyboard. Aside from the last few games of the Stanley Cup Final, I'm done with hockey until October. With the series loss of the San Jose Sharks and the NY Rangers, there is not one remaining team that I care about in the NHL playoffs. I honestly didn't care about the Sharks either, but they were the ones who knocked out Nashville, so at least I could have said that we lost to the Stanley Cup champs. Now we just officially suck as a playoff team. Such is life.

I can now focus my spare time on more important things. One thing I'd like to do is find a Spanish speaking friend, whether online or in person. As I mentioned in the last post, BF and I are heading to Buenos Aires in November, and I'm trying to sand the rust of what little espanol I know. I took 4 years of honors Spanish in high school, and was actually pretty good at it for a pot smoking teenager. But that was a long long time ago during which I replaced a lot of that knowledge with learning German. Anyway, Id love to meet a cool guy to practice the language with (preferably one from Argentina who knows the regional colloquialisms and can help me out). My old textbooks can only useful to a degree. Yes, I have tried the gay Spanish chat rooms, but you know how those conversations go.

Anyway, we've chosen our lodging already, a nice modern loft in the Recoleta neighborhood with a nice balcony to enjoy the warm air. November is the heart of springtime down there. Coincidentally, we found out that Pride Week is scheduled for the same time we will be in town. From what we hear, it is the largest Pride Fest & Parade in South America, rivaled only by Rio's festivities. We are really excited now. We are also trying to decide what side trip(s) to take. If anyone has spent time in B.A. and has any suggestions, please let me know.

I hope I still have some readers, after my brief hiatus. I will try to post at least once a week, and more often if the need arises. Life has been rather mundane lately with little to share. Hopefully that will soon change with summer quickly approaching.

Oh yeah, by the way, my new tenant is in fact gay and has perfect credit. Yay!!!! Hope everyone is doing well!!

Puck Off

2007-04-23T20:41:00.000-04:00

Well, The Nashville Predators lost again in the first round of the playoffs. Pafuckinthetic! I guess I'll be rooting for the NY Rangers to win the cup. Oh well, maybe next year. In a way, I'm glad the hockey season is over. Now, I can get back to saving money for Argentina in the fall.

Oops, I forgot...I've got a blog

2007-04-18T19:50:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been too long since Ive posted. I guess my excuse is being busy and not having tons to blog about. Here's a few things that have been going on the past week:
NHL Playoffs...My Preds are down 2-1 against San Jose with Game 4 being played tonight at the shark tank. Nashville really needs to win tonight or its gonna be tough coming home on Friday for Game 5. The fans have been louder and wilder than years past. Luckily BF and I are in Club Level for these games (thanks to my company).
Most all of the trees in Nashville look dead thanks to a late season freeze which totally annihilated the green beauty of spring. Now all the leaves are falling and looks like a sick autumn.
My new tenant moved in. He seems like a really good guy. He came here from FL to manage a well known restaurant here in town. I can't put my finger on him as gay, yet. He's single, well groomed, has been a waiter for 12 years, and has a really good sense of design. Yeah...I'm pretty sure hes one of us.
I got to go shopping for the first time in months. It had been way too long. Got some great new clothes for summer, and some much needed new office duds. It's amazing what a few new outfits and a fresh haircut can do for your mood and well being.
I won $250 at poker the other night.
Went to the dentist today. They were very happy about my dental condition. However, they did find what looks to be the start of a cavity. I was crushed. I have never in my life had a cavity. It's something Ive always boasted about. Oh well, such is life.
Hopefully I'll have some more time to post now that next door is completely done. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week.

New Ear Candy

2007-04-06T17:48:00.000-04:00

So, after many recommendations, I stopped at FYE on the way home from the gym on Tuesday evening and bought the Mika CD. Of course, I was already familiar and infatuated with Grace Kelly and Love Today, but the other tracks were all new to me. I didn't know what to think of them at first. A few I liked right off the bat. Others, I wasn't so sure about. But, by the third full listen I was hooked. Not a bad song on it. Very infectious. You can hear hints of several great artists throughout; Queen, The Beatles, Sir Elton, just to name a few (but with an updated twist). I think I may even like his cover of Satellite better than DMB's version. This will probably be another one of the CDs that I really won't be able to get sick of. The last one like that was Ta-Dah by Scissor Sisters. If you like SS, you will like Mika.

Can't Stop

2007-04-03T17:16:00.000-04:00

Not too long ago I developed a new addiction. Luckily, its not one that costs me too much money, and no one can tell I'm a junky unless they get a good look at my gums. However, I do like to be by myself when I do it, so know one else can see the monster in me. It started a little over a year ago. I hadn't been to the dentist in probably 10 years or more, and to be honest, didn't plan on going. A strong phobia and my own laziness kept me away (mostly the phobia). Ive always been good about brushing twice a day, and believe it or not, I have never had a cavity. However, it had gotten to a point that my gums would bleed a little when i brushed. I wrote it off to brushing too hard.

The company I work for has great health care benefits, but sadly enough, no dental. So, when BF came home and said he had enrolled me for dental insurance through his work (his company offers Domestic Partner benefits), I was glad, but at the same time worried. I knew that I would have to go in for at least a cleaning within six months of enrollment or lose the benefit. He pestered and pestered me up until that sixth month when I finally scheduled an appointment. Sitting in the chair, looking around at all the implements designed for oral torture, I could feel a bead of sweat roll down my forehead. The hygienist came in, poked and prodded about in my mouth and took x-rays. Several minutes later, the dentist came in and pulled the x-rays up on the monitor. I was in the early stages of periodontal disease. They were going to have to do some major cleaning. I forget what the procedure was called, but it took about two hours and three shots of Novocaine. Basically they had to go up under the gums with a super high pressure (and high-pitched) water-pic and a scraper. It was utter hell. I couldn't feel my mouth for hours afterwards, but when I could, man did it suck. The dentist said my problem didn’t stem from a lack of brushing, but because I didn’t floss regularly. So, needless to stay, I started flossing at least once a day, just so I wouldn't have to go through that agony again.

At my last appointment, I got an A+, so to speak. My weakened gums had completely healed themselves. They are beautiful and lovely pink as opposed to the red they were previously. It’s amazing the amount of nastiness that gets trapped between your teeth that brushing just can’t get to no matter how hard you try. I have gotten to the point where if I don’t floss at least once a day, my mouth feels dirty. I even carry those little travel size floss-packs that the dentist gives you, so I can sneak away after a meal if need be and free the funk from between. I now look forward to my dentist visits, just so I can stock up on the freebies.

I honestly don’t know if you could call it an addiction or not, but it feels that way. Maybe its just OCD, but I really feel uncomfortable if something prevents my oral care. I guess its really just a good habit that I’ve gotten into. Maybe I’ll quit for a day or two and see if I get the shakes.

There Went Another

2007-04-02T16:36:00.000-04:00

Well, the weekend flew by which means, I suppose, that I had a good time. On Friday night BF and I went to a wine social with some friends of ours. It's a monthly get together of folks with a different wine theme each time, like Argentinian Wines, or wines with oddly shaped bottles, various things like that. No one really even talks about the wine, they just like to drink and socialize. It was only about a crowd of 20 or so. I was pouring myself a glass of pinot when this really cute guy came and introduced himself to me. He stood about 6'1, dirty-blond hair, great eyes and wonderful lips, probably about 25, 26 years old, who knows? I really couldn't tell if he was gay or not, but I kinda got a few hints that he was sorta hitting on me. Very ambiguous, but nonetheless (especially the light arm touch to emphasize a point). Anyway, as he was jabbering on about the Euro and how it has affected the Irish economy, all I could think about was taking him outside and enjoying those lips of his. Of course that wasn't going to happen with BF there, unless he was to join in also, heehee. (now that I think about it, I should've suggested it). Oh Well.

I remember riding home, but not actually getting home. according to BF, I went straight to the bedroom, layed down on the rug at the foot of the bed, and slept for an hour before finding my way under the covers.

Needless to say, I spent all of Saturday morning in bed. After a quart of ice-water, 2 Advils, and an orange, I read the paper, and was ready for lunch. I had to go to Lowes for some spray-paint. BF came along for the ride. There's a great little BBQ place near Lowes, so we ate there. They have a great BBQ turkey sandwich that goes really good with a cold 32 oz draft. After lunch we came home and worked around the house a bit until it was time to go to the hockey game.

Great crowd, crappy game. Got our asses handed to us by the Dallas Stars. Almost got in a fight with the most obnoxious Dallas fan. I'm not a violent person at all, so that tells you how bad this guy was. Luckily, BF was there to keep me cool. (i've never started a fight in my life, but I know how to defend). After the game, I thought I'd go try my luck at the weekly poker game.

Usual crowd. I bought in for $60. Started off slow, but soon got some hands worth playing. Had a few good bluffs, but then I got nailed on a couple of bad beats and lost most of my dough. I bought in for another $40 which, unfortunately, disappeared after another hour. As did I. On the cab ride home, I told myself, "no more poker." Ive lost too much the past few times I've played, and I'm tired of it. (I'll be back at the table next week).

Sunday was typical...slept late, went to brunch, complain there's not enough vodka in my bloody mary, call BF a girl for getting buzzed off mimosas, came home, relaxed, went and helped my sister move a new bed, came home, did a little bit of yard work, caught up on some shows we had TiVo'd, went out for Pizza, came home, watched Amazing Race, played some online Scrabble, read, thought about how long I could run on a sentence, and went to bed.

Hoorah!! It's Monday

Post on the Post

2007-03-29T00:41:00.000-04:00

I don't consider myself a big environmentalist, so to speak. I don't attend protests and rallies, or give money to Greenpeace. However, I am environmentally conscious and recycle every bit of paper, plastic and aluminum allowed by "Metro Nashville Curby " (our curbside recycling service).

The other day, I opened my mailbox to find it was literally stuffed full. After sorting through it all, there was only one piece...one fucking piece... that wasn't junk. Look at that pile of waste; multiple coupons and deals to places I don't go, unwanted catalogs and mailers that, despite my efforts, won't remove me from their mailing list, and plenty of other pure crap. Of course, it all went straight to the recycle bin, but it made me think...every mailbox in my neighborhood is getting the same shit, and probably only half of them recycle like me and BF. It's awful that so much unnecessary garbage like this has to take up our landfills, just so Joe Blow can get two Whoppers for the price of one, and Wanda Wantmore can get the latest overpriced schwag from Pottery Barn. Multiply my little area with the rest of the city, and one can't miss but see the point. It's quite maddening. So, if you don't already....... please recycle.!!

Quick Reflection

2007-03-28T23:58:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you can find beauty in odd places. It just shows up without even looking for it. One evening last week, I looked out my front door to see which neighborhood kid was making so much noise in the street with his skateboard. I recognized him, though I don't know his name. One of those teen kids you can tell will be really hot in about 5 years (*sigh*). I digress. Anyway, I looked at my car and saw the reflection of a beautiful sunset fading from behind a neighbor's tree. I grabbed my cam and got the following. The pics don't do the colors and scale justice, a touch blurry,but I thought I'd post anyhow.

Break's Over!

2007-03-27T15:31:00.000-04:00

Well, now that winter has been officially over for a few days, I decided it was time to get back into my routine and head back to the gym. I haven't been since shortly before Christmas, and it shows (10 lbs in 3 months...that sucks). I should not have allowed myself to take the winter off, but alas, the cold makes me lazy and a good beer buzz keeps me warm. That and the fact I spent most of Feb and March redoing the other side of my duplex didn't help either (though the manual labor probably kept a few pounds off).

I had it planned for this week to go at least 4 times, alternating days on upper body and lower body along with a strong dose of cardio with each workout. Yesterday went according to plan. I had a great workout. I still need to get back to where I was 3 months ago, but that should come relatively quick. I can definitely feel it today, though. The thing now is, my sudden schedule for the rest of the week. I found out this morning that I have to do a 6:00 closing tonight 30 miles from home. By the time I get back it will be close to eight, at which time I will have to cook dinner, thus no time to work out today. I just had a 5 o'clock scheduled at the same bank tomorrow (I can still probably get in a good run, at least). BF reminded me last night that we have tix to the Predators/Red Wings game on Thurs. (no time between work and getting ready for the game to get any serious excercise in). And Friday night we have a 7:00 wine/dinner party to go to (again, maybe time for a brief jog). If only I was a morning person, I could fit in a workout everyday. But, I'm not. (I know...excuses, excuses). Luckily, next week isn't looking so hectic. We have only one hockey game to go to (last regular season home game), no late closings scheduled as of yet, and no social events on the calendar, so maybe I'll be back on track then. Look out boys, that winter insulation is going back in the attic.

Tulip Post 3

2007-03-22T22:52:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't know what is going on with the tulips this season. They started off promising, but something has stunted them drastically. The bishop tulips are all usually out in full bloom by now. However, as you can see, only one managed to flourish. The others had begun to bud, but the flowers withered and fell off before they even got close to maturity. I want to write it off to a late frost, but that has never affected them in the past 3 seasons. Perhaps it's some kind of disease or bulb rot. The dutch tulips in front of them seem to be on a slow track, but I have noticed some small signs of buddage deep inside. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, as they are very beautiful bloomers. I think after they all die off for the season, I will transplant the bulbs elsewhere and maybe use this space for annuals.

signed & taken

2007-03-20T23:48:00.000-04:00

Wow, I just realized I haven't posted in about a week. I've just been so busy, though. I've finally finished the renovation next door, and put it on the market for lease. BF convinced me to advertise it for 50 bucks more thanI was going to, so I did. After just 5 days of showing the place, I received a qualifying application, took a deposit and have a signed 12 month lease in hand. And thanks to BF, taking in an additional 400 bucks a year. The funny thing is, I haven't met the guy in person. The company he works for (one that I know well) is transferring him here from FL. I sent him pics of the place, he had his boss come look at it, and the deal is done. He moves here in mid-April. From first impression by talking to him over the phone and his background, I think he is gay, or so I hope (more on that later). I'd love to have family living next door. Anyway, I just wanted to put up a quick post to let y'all know I'm still alive and things are going well. Hope you are all having a great week.

so be it

2007-03-14T18:48:00.000-04:00

Well, they didn't accept our offer on the house. No big deal. I didn't have my hopes up anyway. The Predators lost to the Red Wings last night. Work continues to suck this week. My little toe is feeling much better, though. The weekend can't come quickly enough.

1 Minute Post

2007-03-13T00:35:00.000-04:00

It's late for a Monday, so I'm Just gonna make it quick. The weekend was good. Went by too fast. Went to the hockey game Sat. night. Nashville won. We increased our lead in the NHL as the #1 team. Going again tomorrow night against arch-nemesis Detroit Red Wings. We better win. Was on my feet too much Sunday. Got a blister on my little toe. It hurts. Dammit. Next door is 99% complete. Started marketing it today. Already have 3 people interested in renting. No cute boys/hot men yet, unfortunately. Oh, well I'm in it for the green, not for the eye candy. Due to a lucky opportunity out of nowhere, BF and I are putting an offer in on a new house tomorrow. Offering less than the asking price, but keeping our fingers crossed (more on that later). Work sucked today. Thinking about looking for a new place to hang my hat. I'll get over it. Hope everyone has a great week. Mine is only going to get better. Thanks for reading my speed post. I'll try not to do it often. Peace!!

Fun Night @ the Bee

2007-03-09T21:14:00.000-05:00

BF and I had fun at the show last night (25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee). It wasn't the best musical I had ever seen, but it was funny and very enjoyable all the way around. I thought the cast did a great job for a touring production. The audience seemed to have a really good time, as well .

After the show, we went to a late dinner @ Sunset Grill, a stalwart among Nashville restaurants. They have a good and affordable late night menu after 11:00 so makes it well worth it. We got their 20 minutes before 11, so sat at the bar and had a couple of drinks prior to taking our table. The food and wine were great, equally was the crowd. Afterwards, we came home, watched Survivor, 30 Rock, and Scrubs on TiVo, finished off a bottle of merlot and went to bed. Needless to say, I was cursing myself when the alrm clock went off at 7 a.m. Thank God it's the weekend!!

early bloomer

2007-03-09T20:44:00.000-05:00

The tulip bed is enjoying life. Due to a very warm week, one of my two returning hyacinths bloomed this week. It's kind of retarded for some reason (in the literal sense). Its not very full and it bloomed too early. I think maybe the chipmunk got hold of the bulb earlier this winter but never took it out of the ground. Its too bad, because its a very pretty pink. The other one looks like it should be a much better specimen and a deep purple from what I can tell from the buds. It has grown quite a bit in one week from when it looked like this (click here to see one week ago).

B-O-Y-F-R-I-E-N-D, boyfriend

2007-03-08T00:00:00.000-05:00

I have such a great boyfriend. When he got home from work yesterday he handed me a Ticketmaster envelope. At first, I thought they were just hockey tix, but when I opened it up, it was two tickets to the Tony award winning 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee which opened last night here in Nashville. I'm not a huge Broadway musical fan, but I'll admit I've never been to one that I didn't enjoy. And this is one that I've actually been wanting to see. I've read only great reviews over the past couple years, and hear that it's quite humorous. I haven't been to a show since last year in NYC when I saw Spamalot (funniest thing I've ever seen), no wait, I did see The Lion King when it was here back in November. Anyway, I can't wait. It should be alot of fun. I'll have to take BF out for a really nice dinner.

Goodbye, Old Friends

2007-03-06T19:12:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not going anywhere. Will's Way continues on. I guess part of being active in the blogosphere is enjoying the other blogs you read, while accepting the fact that many will not last forever. Ive had to de-link a few due to their closing (and so I'll stop clicking on them only to find the same farewell post over and over). Goodbye to Micifus (he's been gone for a while now, but I was hoping for a surprise post). Adios to The Accidental Activist (I'm glad he reached a point where he was wanting to get to). And, Aufwiedersehen to Uncut and Unadulterated (he simply just vanished after not posting for awhile). Oh well, that's the way it goes.

On the plus side, seeing them go allows me to fill their time with other blogs that I never had time to read. Tim referred me to one that I think I'll like, and I'm looking for a few more to get to know. If anyone has any they may think I'd enjoy, let me know.

a few trace memories

2007-03-05T23:50:00.000-05:00

OK, so Ive been sitting here for five minutes trying to remember anything that happened this past weekend, and all I can remember is working a little next door (I swear the remodel is almost done). All I lack is having the new vinyl and new front door unit installed. My floor guy keeps putting me off.

Oh yeah, I lost $200 in poker. That kinda sucked. If you know what a bad beat in poker is, well, I was cursed with it over and over again Saturday night.

BF and I ate out at a couple of restaurants, but I honestly don't remember where. Ive been drinking too much again. My memory is very hazy. I often don't think about or even notice where I am, I just act accordingly and have a good time.

I do remember fantasizing about throwing a pail of acid on Ann Coulter's ugly face, then handing her over to Al Qaida in Iraq so they could make one of their lovely home videos if you know what I mean. (ahhh..happy thoughts).

Tulips Are Better Than No Lips

2007-03-01T17:19:00.000-05:00

During a very unseasonably warm January, my 3 year old tulip bed awoke a bit early for the season. Since then it has been quite cold and they've remained idle in their growth. March is here now, and I think they are aware of it. It has already started warming up in Nashville and I swear I think they have grown a little since yesterday. Unfortunately, it looks like only two or three of the hyacinths are returning this year. They were decimated by a ravenous possum and his chipmunk buddy who dug most of them up for breakfast last fall. Apparently, tulip bulbs aren't as tasty, as they all appear to be intact. I think the possum met his fate on the road a few months back, but I occasionally catch sight of that pesky chipmunk. I hope to keep the tulip growth documented here until they bloom and die off, so everyone can enjoy their beauty.

Another Night in the City

2007-02-28T17:08:00.000-05:00

OMG, I can't believe how slow it has been at work today. I'm loving it. I was bitching yesterday about how busy it's been, only to find myself today with next to nothing to do. So, i decided to write up a post. JP Mac mentioned the bar, Therapy, in a recent post, which reminded me of the following experience. This goes along with one I posted back in January, One Night in the City.

The conference was a bore. Afterwards, my boss Ben and I relaxed a bit, got changed, and went for a bite to eat. After dinner we went to meet up with a friend of mine, Harrison, who lives in the Murray Hill neighborhood of Manhattan. Harrison and I met a few years ago while he was in law school at Vanderbilt here in Nashville. I was on a temporary breakup with BF. We were both bored one night and found each other on Gay.com. He invited me over for a drink and whatnot, and before you knew it, we were into the whatnot. We hooked up a couple times after that, but it never went any further than decent conversation and sex. Anyway, back to the story.

We had a glass of wine at his place then caught a cab over to Therapy for drinks. Therapy is good bar if you just want to relax with a decent crowd without the go-go boys and overly loud music. I already had a nice buzz from a couple of Grey Goose and tonics at dinner. The glass of pinot noir at Harrison's only added to the warmth. There was a good crowd that night, not so busy that you couldn't move or hear yourself talk, but enough to make it happenin'. We went upstairs and ran into some friends of Harrison's. They were very friendly and bought us a few rounds. Ben had an early morning meeting, so he went back to the hotel. I stayed for a few more drinks. After a while, I was feeling kind of randy and was hoping that Harrison and I would head back to his place for a little fun. Unfortunately, he had to be up early too, so it didn't pan out. He went back home and again, I decided to stay. His friends were nice, but I wasn't interested in any of them, so when last call cam around I decided to head back to the W and get some rest. I must have been really drunk, because I decided to walk instead of hail a cab (I love walking in Manhattan). And on top of that, it was pouring down rain. On the way, I saw a guy standing under an awning. I decided to get out of the rain for a few and joined him. I don't know why, but I spoke to him with an Irish accent (yeah, I'm weird). He was a decent looking black guy and some kind of street hustler (not the sexual kind). We talked for a bit until the rain subsided. I vaguely remember the conversation, but it had something to do with making money on the streets. I asked him if he was into guys, but he said he was straight. As we were about to part ways he asked me for a few dollars. Seeing how nothing is free on the streets, he let me cop a quick feel, I gave him 2 bucks, and we each went our merry ways. Did I mention that I was a little drunk?

I finally made it back to Times Square where it had started raining again. It was near 4 a.m. at this point. The place was dead. The usual sounds of sirens and honking taxi cabs were replaced only by the deafening roar of a heavy rain. Aside from an occasional delivery truck there was zero traffic. I walked out to the middle of 7th Ave and looked at the lights all around me and admired the way the falling sheets of rain played with the illuminations and reflections in the street. Unfortunately, Times Square isn't fully lit up at 4 in the morning, but it was neat being the only person in a spot that is usually packed with people. There was a very surreal feeling to it all. Seeing how it wasn't getting any earlier, I dragged my soaked ass back up to my room, dried off, jerked off and went to bed. I hated myself 6 hours later when I had to be at a meeting.

Much Work = Slow Posts

2007-02-27T17:50:00.000-05:00

Ive been a bit slow at posting these past few days. One reason is that Ive been busting my ass next door in what little spare time Ive had. I swear I don't think I'll ever be done with the remodel. Actually, I'm very close. Aside from having a new front door installed and new vinyl in the kitchen, I'm just down to little things like doorknobs, switch plates, final paint touch-up, etc... However, it seems those are the things that pile up and take the longest. Another reason for the slowdown is I've been extremely busy at work. Being the end of the month it has been crazy. By the time i get home, its after normal dinner time. I eat, and then have no motivation to do more work. Luckily, the month is about over and I can slow down a little. Actually today has been oddly slow, hence having time to write this.

Another reason Ive been slow at posting is a lack of things to write about. I think inhaling paint fumes for two weeks has blocked my creative energy. I would love to post everyday, but often just can't think of anything interesting to say. Maybe I should open the blog to occasional questions. If there's anything anyone would like to know or like to see me write about, I would definitely be open to it. Hell, its an anonymous blog, so I wouldn't be shy to anything. Anyway, I'm gonna return a couple of calls and try to get out of the office at a normal time. Word to your mothers!!

Forgotten Shots

2007-02-24T00:03:00.000-05:00

Ahh, home alone. BF left yesterday for a couple of days with his best friend who moved to SF a few years back. The boys met half way in KC where they took in a Loretta Lynn concert last night and are exploring the city. Don't laugh, Loretta's last CD with Jack White kicks ass (not to mention she's a living legend). He gets back tomorrow.

Anyway, I was reformatting a memory stick for our camera before he left and came across a bunch of pics I had taken earlier this year. I had actually forgotten all about them. Nothing spectacular, but a few decent shots. After downloading and a few necessary crops, they were ready to share. The few I'm posting here were taken in Chattanooga, TN (a small city about 2.5 hours southeast of Nashville, for those who don't know the area). I was there for business and arrived about an hour or so early. Rather than just sitting idle on my ass, I decided to check out what was around. I happened upon a neat little art district. There were a few small galleries, a bistro, and the city's art museum known as Hunter Museum, shown below.

There is a neat pedestrian bridge from where I took this picture. Chattanooga has done a great job developing its riverfront. They have a world class aquarium and modern minor league baseball stadium along the river, as well. The following pic is one of the walkways at Hunter. I took this because it sort of reminded me of Lombard St. in San Francisco.

This is a view down the center of the bridge I mentioned. I liked the blue color and symmetry of it. I wish it had been a sunny day to enhance it more. Before I knew it, it was time to head off to do what I was in town to do. After business, i was about to head out of town, but spotted a couple of cool buildings, so figured I'd take a couple more pics before hitting the road. I don't know their history, but they were really pretty and the photos don't do them justice.
Above is the Tivoli Theater. I'm guessing it's one of Chattanooga's oldest. I imagine it was probably on the verge of condemnation but restored some years back. Below, if memory serves me correct, is the Arch Building. It reminds me of something you'd see in Philly.

About 20 minutes on the way back to Nashville, I pulled over at a rest stop next to Nickajack Lake. It's a nice stop that has a few walking trails for road weary dogs, and probably road weary truckers, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I saw that one of the paths led down to the lake, so went down and got this shot (no, I was not cruising for truckers). I liked the lighting and reflection in the water. The hour of the day made the leafless trees look purple. It would be an even better photo if that damn duck wasn't leaving a wake. Oh well. It was a good day away from the office.

A Hairy Rambling

2007-02-23T00:22:00.000-05:00

I should probably get my hair cut. Its longer now than it has been in 7 years. I'm kind of liking it, though. I'm not a big stylist queen when it comes to haircuts. I go to your standard neighborhood joint where they charge 15 bucks for a cut. They take a 4.5 guard to the sides and back, leave the top longer,use the thinning shears, and send me on my way. A couple of days with a little growth, no shampoo, but daily conditioner and you're a GQ model. I once payed $75 bucks for a quick cut, and it was no better than what I get for 15, except a fancy waiting area and a bottle of sparkling water (big whoop). I have easy hair. I wore it long through most of the 90's. At one point I had gone over two years without cutting it, after which time, I decided to just buzz it. I remember it felt like my head was going to float away. I usually get it cut once every month and a half. I don't know if I've just been lazy or forgetful, but I haven't had it cut since the end of October. I keep the nape of my neck and my sideburns well groomed, so I don't look like a caveman. I wish I could grow a beard. I mean, I'm physically capable of doing so, but It would be so uneven and gross. My only chance to do so, is to get on Survivor. I've contemplated applying. I'd be the goofiest lookin beardy on the island. It would be fun, except with all the cameras it would make it hard to masturbate. I digress. Anyway, I think I'll let my hair grow til BF complains. He has dropped a hint or two, but I'm gonna push it. Besides, its fun to have something to run my fingers through.

Piss Off, Pickler

2007-02-20T23:13:00.000-05:00

For some reason on federal holidays (MLK day, President's Day, etc..) the Predators always play at 5:00 in the afternoon. So, yesterday BF and I took my older sister to the game, we had great seats, won the game and had a good time. After the game she took us to dinner at The Palm (its just across the street from the Arena). We met up with some of her friends and had a great dinner. The wine didn't stop flowing. There was a smattering of local celebrity there. a Couple of Tn Titans, one of the guys from Rascal Flatts, and a few Predators players. At the table next to us, they sat Vernon Fiddler and one of my favorite hockey studs, Jordin Tootoo. And who did my dreamy little Eskimo, Jordin, have with him as a date? That damn American Idol girl, Kelly Pickler. I think that bitch is stalking me. I seem to run into her everywhere. Fiddler ordered a whole lobster and kept pushing it toward Kelly. She was all squirming and squealing. What a ditz she is. Dinner was delicious and I was thankful I didn't have to pay. Anyway, as were leaving, they looked up and made eye contact with me, so I decided to congratulate Vern and Jordin on a good game. I ignored the Pickler. They were gracious. No real point to any of this, but it gives me an excuse to share this picture of Jordin Tootoo. I think its hot it, anyway.

Monday So Soon

2007-02-19T02:14:00.000-05:00

Not the greatest weekend. Preds lost to Minnesota, after which I went to poker and lost more than I care to tell. Didn't meet my goal of the renovation next door. I was supposed to be done by now, but still have a good week or more of work left. Hell, it will probably be longer than that. I would've been better off hiring out all the work.

I should be in bed right now, but I slept so late today that I'm not even tired. BF and I had wake up sex this morning. I was having a dream about Courtney Cox (don't ask me why). She was my boss and we were in her NY apartment. It was a tiny efficiency dump. We were looking out her only window and she started caressing my ass. I awoke and realized it was my horny boyfriend who was rubbing my tush. What a relief. We did our thing, cleaned up, and went back to sleep. No more Courtney Cox.

Its now Presidents Day. After 1 am. I'm gonna finish my beer and wind it up. I'm mad that I have to be at work when I get up in the morning. My job has a lot to do with what the banking industry is doing, and they are all off tomorrow, but I still have to be in my office with nothing to do. I get a half day, but it still sucks that I have to get up. Oh well, such is life.

The Best Get Better

2007-02-16T16:58:00.000-05:00

To any hockey fans who visit this site, you may be interested in the latest news (in case you haven't heard already) that Philadelphia has traded the great Peter Forsberg to Nashville. In a push to strengthen Nashville's run for the Stanley Cup, we gave up two players and two 1st round '07 draft picks. Well worth it considering the two we traded away weren't even a factor in the Preds current success. For those who don't know (and probably don't care), Forsberg is one of the greatest players in the NHL today, as well as in the game's history. His talent will surely keep the Predators in and around the #1 spot and take them deep into the post-season. An exciting day for sure, unless you are a Flyers fan. Sorry Philly, it's not like y'all had a shot at the playoffs anyway.

Latest Quote

2007-02-16T13:24:00.000-05:00

Amateur Blogger, Will of Will's Way blog was quoted today saying:

"Well, you know, I hate NBA players. I let it be known I don't like NBA players. I don't like to be around NBA players. I'm ballerphobic. They shouldn't be in the world, in the United States, I don't like them."

Go to Hell, Tim Hardaway!!

Isn't It Romantic?

2007-02-15T00:49:00.000-05:00

Well, well...a better V-day than i had actually hoped for (so lame, am I). BF and I went to the hockey game, where we had a great time. Preds beat San Jose 5- 0, retaking the #1 spot in the NHL (back at ya, Buffalo).

After the game, we came home, opened a nice bottle of wine, got naked, and...well, I'll leave the details to your imagination. Afterwards, we settled down and pushed play on the DVR. (Isn't love romantic?) Idol was boring.... watched the whole episode in 10 minutes. The only hopefuls I was glad to see it through to the finals were the Indian boy, Shamalayanamalama, or whatever the hell his name is, and that cute Jersey girl who kinda looks Indian..her name eludes me (no, i don't have a fetish for Hindus, but between Krishna and Kali, my monotheistic upbringing just gets in the way).

Lost was interesting. Desmond is one of my favorite characters. I liked the twist on his flashback episode (twist in the fact that it was totally different than the other character flashbacks). The thing I fear most about this show, is that they will never be able to answer a fraction of the questions they raise week after week. Regardless, they've had me hooked since the beginning. I'm just glad they're finally getting back to the rest of the cast. I can only take so much of Matthew Fox. Anyone else watch this show? What are your thoughts?

Correction from my last post: I actually only saw the Grateful Dead 31 times. Sorry for the typo.

Did you Know?

2007-02-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

I really have nothing new to report on, but I hate to leave dead blog space. One thing I've always liked about some other blogs is the occasional list of personal trivia. So, for lack of better things to write about tonight, here a ten worthless personal facts:

-I prefer my steak medium rare.
-I first made out with another boy when I was 12.
-I didnt have actual sex with a guy til I was 19.
-Between 1990 - 1995, I saw the Grateful Dead 41 times.
-My favorite job was in a frozen yogurt shop.
-My least paying job was in a frozen yogurt shop.
-My favorite artist is Salvador Dali.
-I'm proud of where I'm from (Nashville).
-I fear for where America is heading.
-At present, my CD carousel includes, The Velvet Underground,"Loaded"; U2 "The Unforgettable Fire"; Dixie Chicks " Taking the Long Way..."; Scissor Sisters "Ta Dah"; and Johnny Cash "Live from San Quentin"

I hope everyone is having a great week so far.

Dinner & Cards

2007-02-11T04:13:00.000-05:00

A little after 3 a.m. I'm just getting in for the night. Started off the evening with a birthday dinner for my dad. It was kind of a B'day dinner for me too, since mine comes two days after his on the 12th. My mom's was a little over two weeks ago, making all three of us aquarians. BF says I'm an uber aquarian. I really don't pay much attention to astrology, so I'll take his word for it. Anyway, dinner was nice. My oldest sister and her husband and 1.5 year old were in town, It was good to see them. My nephew gets cuter and cuter every time I see him. He will have a new baby brother in July. That should be interesting.

After dinner I came home and had a couple of beers with BF. He was going out with one of his girlfriends, so I went to a poker game. I was contemplating not going tonight, but I'm glad I did. One of my poker mates brought a new guy to play. What a cutie! About 6', sandy blond hair and an ass that wouldn't stop. I was glad when he was in on a hand, so I had an excuse to stare into his sky blue eyes. Great mouth too, I pictured my own meeting his in a passionate kiss. It was good for a quick thrill. I'm sure he's straight, but it was nice to have some good eye candy at the table. I bought in for my standard $60, was up and down for most of the night, then hit a good little streak and ended up cashing out for $400. One of the better poker nights I've had in quite a while. Another $360 in the vacation fund. WooHoo!! BF and I are planning to head down to Buenos Aires in the fall (more on that another time).

Well, it's late and I have too much to do tomorrow (later today). It's actually supposed to be in the 40s (heat wave), so I'm hoping to do a little outdoor work. Sorry to all my friends in upstate NY and the area buried under 9' of snow. I truly do feel for you guys. I hope everyone has a great Sunday. Peace.

Farewell, Ms. Smith

2007-02-08T18:37:00.000-05:00

I can't say that I'm really upset or surprised over the death of Anna Nicole Smith. It is sad, yes. She was the brunt of alot of inside humor between me and BF. We thoroughly enjoyed her old reality show and making fun of her through the years on her TrimSpa commercials and many red carpet gaffes. Such a waste of what could have been. It's quite tragic really, the life she led since the death of her billionaire husband. I'm sure his family is somewhat relieved that she's gone, but I'm sure Anna's attorney/bf will continue the fight for the inheritance for the sake of their new baby daughter, assuming the paternity test comes out in his favor. Jeesh...what a soap opera. Anyway, Rest in Peace, Anna Nicole. Your spectacle will be missed. Say hi to Daniel for me.

Creeping in, Kill It Fast

2007-02-06T23:36:00.000-05:00

Ugh....I can feel the scratchiness starting from deep in the throat all the way up through my nasal cavity. A little bit phlegmy, and a little light headed with a touch of throbbing in the temples. I'm hoping its just a 24 hour bug I've caught and not an actual cold, or worse, the flu. It's so rare that I get sick, I'm thinking it will be quick. I've already started attacking with Vitamin C and Nyquil tabs. Mixed with the scotch, it seems to be doing the trick..nah, j/k...not really drinking scotch. 17 degrees yesterday and 51 today, it's no wonder everyone isn't getting ill. I think I'll try headin to bed a bit earlier for an added kick. Wish me luck.

Job Op Update

2007-02-06T18:35:00.000-05:00

An update on that job opportunity I posted about last week. I was at a mini-seminar today and ran into a guy that used to work at that office. He clued me in on what I kinda already knew; that I would more than likely be miserable there. He said the pay was great, but the boss is usually an A-1 asshole, and that the work conditions just aren't all that enjoyable. After hearing that, and considering the comments and emails you guys sent, I have decided to cancel the interview, which I was going to next Tuesday. I would rather be happy with where I am and make less money than have a great salary and be miserable everyday.

No, Im not drunk. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Why are we up so late anyway?

2007-02-04T04:28:00.000-05:00

8:00am-Woke up to the glaring sun shooting through the blinds of my bedroom window. I love the sun. Went back to sleep.
10:30-Woke up again. BF's arm around me. I was feeling it. He was feeling it. Great morning sex.
10:40-(yeah....like you last more than 10 minutes in the morning) Cleaned up, ate some Kashi, and read the paper.
11:30-finished reading paper, solved Sudoku, and burned one with BF (not necessarily in that order).
11:45-BF jumped on laundry. I went next door and painted and painted and painted. (I'm sick of painting).
5:30-Painting is finally done (less touch-up). Celebrate with another beer. Take shower. Get ready to go downtown for the hockey game.
7:00: Face off between the #1 Predators and the #3 Ducks. Preds win in a shutout 3-0. #2 Buffalo Sabres lose to NJ., keeping Nashville's #1 spot in the NHL.
10:10-Make it home from the arena. Celebrate the win with a beer, the BF, and a bong hit. Contemplate going to play cards.
10:30-Sit down at the table and buy in for $60.
3:00- Cash out for $140. Far from my best win, but I'm happy with any win.
3:10-Get home, open a beer (I'm really not a lush), have a toke (I'm really not a pothead).Convince a semi-passed out BF that the bed is much more comfy than the sofa.
3:20-Jump online. Catch up on the news and my favorite blogs.
4:25-Wonder why the hell I'm still up and sharing a less than extraordinary day of my life on the blogosphere. "Y"?..Because we like you....M..O..U..S..E.......

Better Late than Never

2007-02-02T18:30:00.000-05:00

Well, after bitching yesterday that we didn't get any snow, I woke up this morning to about an inch or so covering the ground and cars. It was pretty. I'd almost forgotten what real snow actually looked like. Luckily, it didn't stick to the streets too bad, so my commute was no problem. By mid-afternoon it had all melted for the most part.

I'd Rather Be in Miami

2007-02-02T13:47:00.000-05:00

Oh boy, Superbowl Weekend is here and guess what, I don't really care. Though, I will watch the game, I am not too terribly excited about either team playing. However, I do wish I was in Miami for the parties and warm weather (I'm sick of the cold). I will have to say that I am pulling for Indy to win, but only because of Peyton Manning. He is undeniably the best QB in the NFL, and has led his Colts through a great season. Therefore, he deserves to be there. On top of that, we both went to UT, where I watched him break every Tennessee QB record, but never win a championship. His big V is way overdue.

Da Bears, on the other hand, have one of my least favorite QBs in Rex "Gross"man. Put that loser back on the bench. He shouldn't even be in the NFL. I mean, the guy isn't even good eye candy (not that Peyton is either). If it wasn't for a tremendous defense, Chicago wouldn't have even been a wild card this year, let alone a favorite. Rex is also a former Florida Gator, who, being a rival of UT, I loathe.

I think it will be a close game, though. If Chicago's D can put a good hurting on the Colts superior Offense, they may stand a chance. Hmmm, that statement sounds like some of the stupid observations made by many sports announcers, ie..."These guys have come to play football", "This team is playing to win", "What they want to do is get down into the end zone instead of settling for a field goal"..duh...

Anyway, Go Colts. If you lose I won't cry.

Kein Schnee

2007-02-01T16:27:00.000-05:00

Well, as I should have guessed, the snow completely died as it got to Nashville. Barely a flurry. Of course, everwhere around us got about an inch. Oh well, I suppose it's better than getting an ice storm like ATL got.

A Little White Stuff

2007-01-31T15:54:00.000-05:00

Wow, I can't believe it. It looks like Nashville may actually get some snow. I was hoping it would miss us or at least wait til the weekend, but it looks like it will be here within a few hours. They're actually saying we could get an inch or more which is enough to bring any place in TN to a standstill. Looks like I'll be coming in late tomorrow.

To Sell My Sanity?

2007-01-30T18:30:00.000-05:00

I have been presented with an opportunity to interview with another company. I would basically be doing the same thing I am now, but with a substantial increase in pay. My dilemma is, do I trade comfort for money?

You see, I like the company I am currently with. Though, very small (7 employees), I make a decent salary, have good seniority, and know exactly how the company runs. I enjoy the fact that I am completely out at work and nobody cares (my ex-boss was gay too, so it was easy coming into this job as a homo). BF is invited to all company functions with me. I can come in late some days and leave early others without having to ask anyone. A 10 minute commute going against the flow of rush hour traffic is nice too. And on top of all that, we have club level hockey tickets that i can use several times in the season.

The new place would be a little bigger. I know for a fact that they have a more conservative atmosphere, which would kinda suck. I'm afraid I would have to keep mum on my lifestyle, and wonder if Id ever be able to be comfortably out there. The commute would be about twice as long, but the pay would be about $25,000 more than I'm making now. I don't even really know if this is the line of work i wish to stay in for that much longer.

But, 25 grand, man. That's alot of scratch to work with. I think that would put me in another tax bracket. I could really do some good things for my life, but at what sacrifice?? What if I took the job (assuming they'd want me after the interview) and hated it? Would my sanity really be worth the monetary increase? But then again, it could turn out to be a cool place as well. I just don't know. Any ideas? What to do, what to do???

Another Weekend Gone

2007-01-29T19:00:00.000-05:00

Not too exciting of a weekend. BF went to East TN to celebrate his grandmother's 70th B'day, so I had the homestead to myself. My sister and I took my mom and dad out to dinner at a great little restaurant we like called Park Cafe (belated birthday dinner for mom). It was excellent. For apps, we had a standard baked brie with some kind of raspberry chutney and an order of their twist on Mongolian beef & mushrooms. Both were pretty tasty. I enjoyed my Grey Goose & Tonic just as much, though. We shared a bottle of Pinot Grigio for dinner. For the entree, I had a sesame crusted perch over purple thai sticky-rice, with sauteed edamame and a jalapeno soy glaze. The rice didn't have much flavor, but everything else was great.
Afterwards, my sister and I went back to her house, shared another bottle of wine, and talked. She was telling me about her 3 week mark from having broken up with her freako cheating boyfriend. I'm so glad that relationship is over. Turns out he had been seeing his fuck bunnies on the side for the entire 2 years they had been dating. BF and I were happy at the news. We always knew he was dirt and that she could do better. The only downside is I can't get his on-the-glass hockey seats anymore. Oh well, I still get good seats anyway. She also mentioned that she had a long talk with our parents about me and BF, and how they would like for me to bring him to more family functions. That's great and all, but of course, they have yet to tell me this to my face. For some reason, my sister has always been the middleman for touchy subjects between me and parents.After we finished the wine, I was ready to open another bottle (once I get started, I usually don't stop). She had to be up early, so said no, and offered me a bottle to go. I declined. I had plenty to drink in my fridge.
I went home and played on the computer for a bit. BF was online, so I talked to him some. I could tell he was drinking too, by the way he was getting pissy about my smart ass replies. He signed off, and I logged on to my scrabble game and beat some Californian handily 2 games in a row. Apparently, I started another game after that, but didn't finish (by penalty of delaying the game, I was forfeited). I guess I had gotten up to piss or get another drink, and found the couch instead, as that is where I woke up 6 hours later with the stereo and computer still on.
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Worked on the renovation for most of it. I'm getting close to being done. Sat night I played poker with my str8 friends. I was up 80 bucks at one point, but left with only winning $9. The Predators were on the road, we won both games against Chicago and St. Louis. Poor St. Louis hasn't defeated Nashville in 14 straight games now. Bless their little hearts.
I guess winter is officially back. Saturday was in the 50's, but Sunday brought in the cold front. With the gusty winds all day, it never felt like more than 20 degrees. It was 14 when I woke up this morning, and its not supposed to warm up for sometime. Oh well, its about time. I just wonder if Nashville will get our 1 snowfall for the year. It'll probably come in April. Better late than never, I guess.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

2007-01-26T23:36:00.000-05:00

My work bud, Trisha and I were wasting time today, and talking about guys in Hollywood we thought were hot. I mentioned that one of my favorites, who has only gotten hotter over time, is Rob Lowe (grrrrrrr). She totally agreed, which prompted her to tell me how excited she was of her latest purchase, the two disc dvd of The Outsiders (in which a young Rob Lowe was featured) with deleted scenes and all kinds of extras. I remember reading about it coming out a few months ago, but had forgotten. I think I'll run to Best Buy this weekend and grab one for myself. This movie had the hottest cast of guys in the eighties (Lowe, Cruise, Swayze, Estevez, Dillon, Howell, and of course Macchio). If you haven't seen this movie.....shame on you.... do yourself a favor and rent it.

Possibly the first male crush i ever remember having came from this movie. I was just a wide-eyed naive schoolboy. My oldest sister had just turned 16 and was always forced to babysit me (of course, in my mind, i was too old for a sitter). She and her boyfriend wanted to go to the movies, but my parents and other sister were off doing other things, and they were stuck with me. So, they decided to take me along to the theater. They sat in the back and I went to the front. I had no idea what The Outsiders was about except that it had greasers and some fighting in it. I figured it would probably be cool, after all, I liked Fonzie and he was a greaser. The movie started, and before I knew it, there he was on screen. At the time, I didn't know his real name. He was just Johnny Cade to me. By the time the movie was over, I was in love. I couldn't keep my mind off him.

I don't know if it was his certain tough facade and knowing that underneath was a sweet vulnerable kid, if it was his rugged cuteness and dark complexion, or perhaps if it was the tender relationship he had with his best friend,Ponyboy, and how he loved Ponyboy to read him to sleep with Gone With the Wind. It was probably a combination of all three. I remember when Johnny died in the movie and how I cried. All of this emotion over a guy. I didn't really understand what was going on in my head and heart, but I liked it. It felt right.

Later that night, I snuck into my other sister's room (she was 13 at the time) and stole a few of her Tiger Beat magazines. I saw his name in the closing credits of the film, but could only remember the name Ralph. Needless to say, there he was on the glossy pages among other heartthrobs of the era.....Ralph Macchio. I didn't really know how to pronounce the last name, but it didn't matter. In my mind he was Johnny Cade and I filled in the shoes of Ponyboy Curtis, holding him and comforting him as was shown in the movie. I clipped his pics and kept them in my Trapper Keeper. Whenever bored in class, I would open it up and daydream. The feelings would overwhelm me at times.

The crush lasted through to the Karate Kid, after which time Ralph got fat, and i lost interest. But for those couple of years, Ralph was mine.

One Month so Soon

2007-01-25T00:17:00.000-05:00

Wow, I just realized yesterday marked the one month anniversary for Will's Way. I'm quite suprised, actually. When I started this blog, I figured it was probably just a whim and I would give it up within a few posts. However, Ive found it rather enjoyable. I know I don't have a huge reader base, but for only being linked on 3 or 4 other sites, Im glad that Ive reached over 500 unique hits in the first month (I know, that's laughable compared to most, but I'm happy with it). All I can say is, Thanks to everyone who reads. You're the main reason i continue to write. Now that I feel a bit more dedicated, Im going to try and grow my base, and ask any readers who blog to consider linking my site on their sidebars. I will be more than happy to respond in kind. And anyone who has suggestions on how to make my blog better, please feel free to comment. I love constructive criticism. Again, thanks to everyone who continues to read. I hope you all keep clicking in from time to time.

One Night in the City

2007-01-23T23:50:00.000-05:00

A couple of blogs i like to read have me pining for NYC lately. About a Boy got me thinking about how I don't like Times Square so much, but always end up there somehow when I visit. And J.P. at Overnight in NY has a recent post where he mentions a few good watering holes. It got me thinking about several experiences I've had in the city, at bars and around town, so I thought I'd share a few.
I was in the city for a few days attending a conference at the Mariott Times Square. TS was fun the first few times I went to NYC, but it's old hat after awhile. (After several trips to NY you don't like to be considered a tourist). Luckily, my boss, Ben, who happens to be gay too, put us up next door at the W (much nicer than the craphole W on Lexington). My room had a nice view of TSquare, at right, so it was cool. He had been to the city before, but never had the opportunity to check out the gay bars. The first night we had dinner in Chelsea at some trendy place on 8th (the name eludes me). Afterwards, I took him to XS for a couple of drinks and then ended up at Splash for a little dancing and boy watching. Ben was impressed with the go-go boys. Me, not so much. (They were a little too prosthetic, if you know what i mean). Ben, being an early riser, left around midnight. I decided to stick around and continue my buzz.
I went downstairs and sat at the bar next to a pretty nice looking guy. He was in town from Philly with a friend of his. We got to talking and I could tell that half of what he was saying was BS. So, I figured I'd have some fun and do the same. I told Philly I was from Nashville (true), and that I worked for Sony-Nashville (not true, but have a friend that does), and that I was in town for meetings at the NY Sony offices (definitley not true). He was kind of skeptical, but believed me after I showed him my TN driver's license. He and his friend, who was not cute at all, bought me a couple of drinks. They asked if i wanted to get out of there and go back to their hotel. Now, I'm not opposed to 3-ways at all. As a matter of fact they can be a lot of fun, but this guy's friend just wasn't doing it for me, so I declined. After saying no, the friend went off to troll for someone else which was quite fine with me. Philly and I continued talking as our hands found each other's thighs. He started asking too many questions about the music biz, and rather than be found out as bullshitting, (i suck at lying for the most part), I decided I would be smooth, excuse myself to the boys room, and make a clean exit up the back stairwell. It would have worked perfect, except he followed me to the bathroom. It was empty but for one guy at a urinal. Philly kinda directed me into a stall and closed the door behind. This made me really nervous for a couple of reasons; 1) I've never really been into sex in public bathrooms. 2) The few times Id been to Splash, I'd always noticed someone monitoring the bathrooms for sex and/or drug use. This night, I was buzzed enough to where i could put my nervousness aside, take the risk of getting busted, and just have fun. The second the latch clicked, our lips met with passionate force. I was glad to find he was a good kisser. After a quick over the jeans feel, belts were undone, pants unbuttoned and cocks in each other's hand. We made out and jerked each other for a minute before he went down on me. Not the best head i ever had, but it did the trick. He was massaging my ass with one hand and continuing to jerk himself off with his other. Before I knew it, I was ready to blow. I tried to pull him back, but he wouldn't have it. He took me more for every last drop. It blows me away that guys will swallow perfect strangers, but I do love the feeling when they do. Philly got up with a big smile on his face. As I reached down to grab his dick and return the favor, I could tell he'd already shot his load. He fastened up, gave me a kiss and said thanks. He opened the door and slinked out. As I was buttoning up I looked down and saw that he had jizzed on my brand new $120 pair of Diesels. that MOTHER FUCKER!!! The right shoe was ok, but the left had a thick long pearly goo stream from the big toe up to the top of the tongue. I cleaned it up the best I could, and left. I was hoping to run into Philly as I left, so I could give him a good bitching, but to no avail. I grabbed a cab and headed back to the hotel.
The beds at the W are wonderful. It was all I could do to get out of it the next morning. I got up, showered, and got dressed for the conference. I looked across the room to my cum crusted shoes and scowled a little. Then kinda just chuckled to myself. Just another NY story to tell.

I Almost Forgot

2007-01-23T22:55:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I forgot to mention one of my favorite nights of television, and that is Thurs. on NBC. Finally, they got their shit together and put together a winning line-up, the best since the days of Seinfeld. Starting off with My Name Is Earl (probably the weakest of the night, but funny nonetheless. Jamie Presley is a hoot as the white trash woman, Joy); The Office (I love this show, Steve Carrell is hilarious, but Rainn Wilson who plays Dwight makes the show the hit that is, in my opinion); Scrubs (great writing, great characters, sharp and witty humor. Ive enjoyed this show since its start several years ago. Rumor has it this could be the last season. I think they could go for at least one more); 30 Rock (as if I didn't love Tina Fey enough already, she has created a true gem with this one. A terrific cast featuring, Fey, Tracy Morgan, and Alec Baldwin who won the Golden Globe for best actor in a comedy. If you haven't started watching this show, it's not too late. Give it a look, it is well worth the time.

All I can say is thank God for TIVO or I would never get anything done.

TV Time Again

2007-01-23T00:30:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a typical American, what can I say? Two of my favorite pastimes are live sports and good television. Sometimes timing in life is just perfect. The NHL is on break for the All-Stars, just as some of my favorite TV shows are starting back up. No hockey to get in the way of prime-time vegging. Tonight was the return of Heroes, undoubtedly the most fun show and in my opinion the best overall freshman series from last fall. No other character on TV is more likeable than Hiro played by Masi Oka, and to me there is no hotter character than Nathan Petrelli played by Natalie Maines' (of the Dixie Chicks) husband, Adrian Pasdar. That man just gets my juices flowing. Yes, Milo V. who plays his younger brother, Peter, is hot, but not as much as Adrian (Sorry, About a Boy, we differ on that one). Anyway, tonight's episode answered a few questions and set up the rest of the season for a wild ride. I wish it was next Monday already.

Another good show that I've gotten into and was back on tonight is Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip by the original creators of the West Wing. If you haven't seen it, its based around a Saturday Night Live like studio, from the lowly writers all the way up to the President and execs of a major TV network. It is extremely well written, pro-gay, anti-right, but well balanced on most issues. If you haven't watched, its definitely worth a look.

Other shows that I'm watching this season, though most have yet to start or resume from the fall: Lost (I've loved this show from the start, but it better pick up the pace); Survivor (I'm interested to see if they can top last season which was the best since the original); The Amazing Race (Its the all-star edition which should be fun. a couple of gay teams returning along with Rob and Amber.....blech); The Class (Simple, but well written humor, a cute gay character, some funny character relationships and Jason Ritter , the cute guy pictured at right. I was hesitant to give this show a try, but I'm glad I did); and embarrassingly enough, American Idol ( I was totally anti A.I. a few years back, but BF forced me into it and now I can't help myself. Disgusting American pop culture, but it sure is fun to pass judgement on a bunch of kids with more singing talent in their little finger than I could ever hope to have. Please no more Taylor Hicks types, though). There are a few other shows worth mentioning, but I need to wrap it up for the night. I hope everyone is having a good start to the week. Thanks for checkin' in. Peace!

One More Saturday Night

2007-01-21T04:23:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post tonight, but I find myself bored and untired way too late at night or too early in the morning (no, im not tweaking, just drinking a bit to counter the effects of too much caffeine). Saturday started about 11:30am as I rolled out of bed. BF got up about an hour ahead of me. We borrowed my dad's truck to pick up supplies for the remodel, ate lunch at our nearest mexican joint, spent too much time in Home Depot and finally made it back with 80% of what I needed to get. I got a little bit done. My friend, E, stopped by to say hi and see how the progress was coming. He had some good bud and was nice enough to burn one with us (thanks, E..you totally killed my work momentum). Before I knew it, it was time to go to the hockey game.

On the way downtown, traffic was worse than usual. I forgot about all that was going on. There were a a few inaugural balls for our re-elected Governor, the Predators game, and a big RV show at the Convention Center, etc.... The game was great. We beat Chicago 6-3. Nashville holds the Number 1 spot in the NHL going into the All-Star break. David Legwand scored his first career hat trick, while at the same time breaking the Predators record for most goals scored at 97. David is one of the only original Preds left. He's no beauty queen, but there's still something sexy about him even with his missing tooth and semi-permanent black eye.

After Hockey, i went to a poker game that E was hosting. I didn't fare so well. After 3 hours of being up and down, I wound up losing the bill I bought in with and decided to come home instead of foolishly buying back in. BF was asleep when I got in, so I flogged a couple people in online Scrabble, and decided to write. (i'll let you know when i hit nerd nirvana). Now I find myself after 4 am and think i might be ready to sleep. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Tschus, meine freunde!

Un-Thai Friday

2007-01-20T01:54:00.000-05:00

Ah, another weekend upon us. Thank heavens!! I got home from work, read the paper while watching Charlie Gibson (ABC Nightly News, for my foreign friends), then my local Nashville Channel 2 News. Slow news day. I couldn't even make it to the weather segment before changing into my rag clothes and going next door to try to knock a little more out on the remodel. I painted ceilings tonight. The most boring of the jobs so far. The paint just wasn't covering the way it should. It took two coats and two CDs (Scissor Sisters "Ta-Dah", and the Beatles "Revolver"). I know that doesn't seem too long, but the place is only 700 Sq ft. My neck hurts for looking up so long. I wanted to get more work done, but BF got home from a late day and was ready to get some dinner.

We went through our typical argument about where we wanted to eat. I was in the mood for Indian or Thai...something spicy. I was shot down. I love BF, but hes a culinary bore. We ended up doing pizza and beer at one of our usual spots. Blah!! The only way he'll even do Pad-Thai is if I tell him its spaghetti and peanut sauce with a touch of Texas Pete. Sprouts will not kill you.... God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change......Afterwards, we came home and killed off a bottle of cab sav. He's asleep (passed out) on the couch now, and I'm just catching my second wind. I'm gonna play a game of online Scrabble, and just play the rest of the night by ear. Peace!!
Will

Bye, Joel. The Weekend Is Almost Here

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday. This week has been going by so slow. Ive barely been able to get any work done on the renovation. Luckily, I was able to finish all of the hole spackling, caulking and drywall work. I should be able to finish the paint priming tomorrow, and get started on tiling the kitchen counters this weekend. Real exciting stuff. Tonight was the first night this week aside from Monday that i was able to get anything done. My parents decided to go out of town for a few days, so BF and I had to house sit a bit. Really the only reason was to make sure their dog could come and go as he pleased. My mom felt it was too cold for him to stay outside overnight. Oh well, he's a sweet mutt and it was nice having a fireplace for a couple days.

In response to a couple of emails from my few readers...No, I never heard anything from Joel. So, like I said earlier, I'm just gonna let it go. If, by chance, I do hear from him in the future, so be it. If not, no big deal. If it happens, I'll let you know. I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll be very busy with the apartment and a Sat night Hockey game against Chicago, but I'll try to squeeze in a post if by chance anything exciting happens. By the way, Nashville, after shutting out the Columbus Bluejackets tonight, is #1 in the NHL. Go Preds!! Well, I better get in the shower and wash the drywall dust off. Peace!

slow posting

2007-01-15T23:38:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the slow posting the past couple of days. My tenant nextdoor (I own a duplex) just moved out after being there for 12 years (long before I bought the place). So, Ive been busy renovating. Im totally redoing the kitchen and bathroom. It's very time consuming, but should be well worth it when I get a new tenant, as the rent will be increased dramatically from what it was (prior tenant's rent hadn't changed in probably 10 years). I'll post pics of the renovation when complete. Does anyone know anybody in the Nashville area needing a place to rent? 2 bedroom, open floorplan, new HVAC, etc....

43 & the ilk

2007-01-13T01:02:00.000-05:00

I hate him. I hate everyone associated with him. I hate his ideas, his lack of intellect, his lies, his closedmindedness. I would wish for the "elected year ending in zero" curse if there was someone worthy to take his position. He doesn't listen to his generals. He doesn't listen to logic. He only listens to his oil bosses, his loathsome pride and perhaps Satan. He doesn't care what the American people think. He definitely doesn't care what the Iraqi people think. And the way he has trashed America's reputation, doesn't care what the world thinks. He doesn't even listen to his father (the only voice of reason in his life). He is just an idiot no matter how you approach it. I want to puke every time I see him. Seriously, what he has done to this country makes me ill. The sad thing is....he's only going to make it worse. His lies got us into this mess, and his ego is only getting us deeper. He continues having his pawns defend his misguided ideals until they no longer can, ie...the resignations (firings) of prior bozos as the reality of situations present themselves (Powell, Tenet, Rumsfeld, etc...) all of which have sacrificed careers and reputations for LIES. Are you listening Condi? I thought you were smarter, BITCH. You spineless cunt, you're next!! I thought Colin Powell presenting lies in front of the UN was the biggest disgrace til I heard you in front of Congress. SHAME!!

Ok, Im a little drunk and will shut up before I say something I regret..nah, I regret nothing. Here's to getting a good Dem in the race for '08. Hil, Barak, Johnny boy...dream on. Two years to find someone worth a shit.

Lord Stanley and Some Good Art

2007-01-10T23:52:00.000-05:00

Last night was a great hockey game. BF and I weren't planning to go, but my sister called and had tickets she wasn't going to use. I love when she gets extras, they are always spectacular seats. These were 3 rows off the glass. We beat the Anaheim Ducks 5-4 in overtime, which is great because they are the #1 team in the NHL right now (Nashville being #3). On top of all that, the actual Stanley Cup was there, and we were able to have our pictures made with it. I couldn't believe they actually let people touch it. Being a Hockey fan, it was quite an honor. ( I know, I'm a dork).

I was over at Towler Road earlier where they had a link to an artist, Brandon Herman, that i wasn't familiar with. I checked out his site, and he has some pretty cool photographs. Nothing terribly original, but a good eye for his subject matter. It got me thinking about another artist I was introduced to a couple years back named Anthony Goicolea. Anthony has a very unique style that i simply love. His work borders on disturbing and strangely homo-erotic. He takes advantage of what one can do in the digital age and runs with it. He is also his own model in the majority of his work. He looks like he's thirteen, but he's actually in his thirties. I caught one of his more recent shows the last time I was in NYC and it was wonderful. Lots of pieces that you can't find on the internet. And the ones that you can find on the web just don't do his work justice. If he ever shows at a gallery near where you live, I highly recommend you check it out.

Still nothing from Joel. I'm beginning to think my efforts to get in touch with him are futile. Oh well, asi es la vida.

Cruised

2007-01-08T17:21:00.000-05:00

I took today off, just because I could. I went to the mall to see if there were any good sales. None, really. I went to the restroom to take a leak and got cruised. Its been forever since Ive been bathroom cruised. This guy came up to the urinal next to me, said hi and looked down at my goods. He took his out as if to pee. If it wasn't hard then he had the biggest limp dick I've ever seen. I finsihed my business, washed up and left. Too bad he wasnt cute and about 10 years younger, I would have considered takin it elsewhere. Craziness. The idea got me hot though and i walked around the mall semi-hard. I had to rub oun out when I got home.

Still no word from Joel. I'll give him to til the end of the week to respond then I'm just gonna give up.

What's in a Dream?

2007-01-05T17:16:00.000-05:00

I had a strange dream last night. BF and I went to Knoxville to visit Joel. Keep in mind BF has never met Joel, let alone even heard of him. We got to his house and he wasn't home. We decided to let ourselves in and the place was a total mess. Being the neat freak that I am, I totally cleaned the place up. A couple of his friends came by and told me that Joel was at work and that they hated the clean look of the house. So, I left. I don't know where BF went. When I returned, his friends were still there playing video games and smoking a joint. They said Joel was upstairs asleep, so I went up to see him. I sat on the bed next to him and he woke up, looked at me and gave me a big kiss and hug. I asked if I could sleep in his bed with him at which he said, no, because of his friends being there. Then he asked if I was ready to go to the Scissor Sisters concert. I said yes, but that BF would like to go too, since they are his favorite band. So, I went outside his bedroom to find BF. The layout of the house had completely changed. It was now like an Aspen Ski Resort and I could see down into the main living room. BF was laying down on a couch in front of a big stone fireplace. I yelled down to him that there were still tickets available for the show and asked if he wanted to go. He did, and got on the phone to order tix for himself. I went back into Joel's room, made out a little, and Joel got dressed. We talked about some other shit, but I can't remember what. Probably just dream garble. You know how that is. That's all I can remember. I guess it ended or I woke up. It was very vivid, though. Pretty stupid dream, eh?

Do you think dreams have some hidden meaning? Are they just a rehash of the day's forgotten thoughts? Why am I obsessed with someone I haven't seen in years? I do think about him everyday, but why? I always loved him as a friend, but we never even fooled around. The crazy thing is... Joel quite possibly isn't even interested in guys. But in my mind, I feel that I have to know for sure. I'm anxious to see if he responds to my letter. I feel guilty having these feelings when I have a boyfriend who loves me so much. Maybe I'm just mentally bored with BF and unconsciously looking for something to get my wheels turning. Maybe I'm just crazy. We'll see. Anyone have any insight??

Return to Routine (avoid the Val factor)

2007-01-04T19:34:00.000-05:00

Its amazing what getting out of your routine can do to you physically. Like a few other bloggers that i follow, I haven't been properly exercising since around Thanksgiving, and have only been running a handful of times since then too. I have gained almost 8 pounds. I actually could feel it when I put my pants on this morning and the waistband felt tighter than normal. I feel like such a fatass. So, come Monday, I am back to the gym at least 3 times a week and getting back on my 10 mile a week running schedule. Also, no more alcohol on the weeknights (well, maybe 1 glass of wine here and there). Luckily, i have pretty good will power, so I should be back to my good weight by the end of Feb if not sooner. Yeah, I know I have a bf, but I still like to be checked out by other guys when I'm out on the town. Its good for the ego.

Don't wanna look like Val Kilmer. Poor guy. Remember when he was hot ?

Letter Sent

2007-01-02T17:48:00.000-05:00

So after several of your emails, I have gone ahead and sent a letter to Joel. I didn't make it too sappy or gay, just simply that I saw that he had bought a new house, Happy New Year, and that I'd love to hear from him and see what he's been up to since the last we saw each other, and gave him my email address. I also told him that I think about him every night and masturbate at least 4 times a week with him in mind. (no, i didnt really say that). NOw I'll just have to wait a few days and see if anything happens. Do I care?? Maybe, but I won't cry if he doesn't respond. I notice alot of you guys prefer emailing as opposed to comments. Thats cool, I appreciate the emails, but feel free to leave comments too. It makes my site look like someone is actually reading it..lol. 3 days til the weekend.

Parthenon and Walking Man part II

2007-01-01T12:53:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning with a small headache from too much champagne last night. BF is still sleeping, so I thought I'd finish up my story. I hope everyone had a great New Nears Eve/Day!! Here it is...Hope you enjoy.

************************************************
......As I was about to get up to go back to my car, I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see walking man emerging from behind one of the large pillars. "Hey", he said, this time much more subdued. "Uhh.....hey", I replied, my heart now firmly lodged in my throat. "Nice night, huh?", he asked. "It sure is" I said as he took a seat two steps behind me. He was wearing blue shorts and a tank. I figured he was probably in his mid twenties or so. Pretty good-looking guy. I noticed his lightly hairy legs were nicely toned, a runner probably. The way he was sitting, I also noticed he wasn't wearing underwear. I hoped he didn't notice my nervousness or the slight bulge that was forming in my pants. we made a little small talk for a couple of minutes, "So, you wanna go somewhere?" he asked. "Well, i actually need to use a phone, but I don't have a quarter " (this was before everyone had cell phones). He explained that he didn't have any change, but that he just lived a few blocks away and I could use his. I thought about it for a second, said OK, and we headed back to my car. Driving to his apartment, I didn't know what to think. My mind was going a mile per minute. "I'm Brian, by the way" he said. "Huh?" I mumbled. "Brian, my name is Brian". It dawned on me that we never even exchanged names. "Uh...I'm Ted", I said, not knowing why or where I came up with Ted, but I sure as hell wasn't going to give him my real name. We made it upstairs to his place. It was sparsely furnished, but clean. I guessed he was a Vandy grad student judging by all the books. He pointed to a small table/chair combo where the phone was. "There ya go." he said. I sat down and dialed only 6 numbers. I pretended like it was just ringing and ringing. I hung up and repeated this silly action. "Damn, I couldn't reach 'em", I lied. I didn't know what to do. I felt like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. "Well, thanks for letting me use your phone", I said as I got up and began heading to the door. Damn, I couldn't believe it. I was chickening out. Just as I was at the door, I heard from behind, "Do you want a blowjob?" I froze. My hand fell from the doorknob and I turned around and answered, "Uh....ok." I told him how it had always been a fantasy of mine to have a guy blow me off, even though I wasn't gay. (ah the lies we tell ourselves in youth). He led me to his bedroom and told me to make myself comfortable, and that he'd be back in a second. I took off my shirt, dropped by cargo shorts to my ankles and sat on the bed. Not knowing the etiquette of tricking, I left my boxers on. My head was spinning. He came back to the room and was stark naked. "You gonna leave those on?", he asked. I looked down to my boxers, which i noticed were well tented due to my full erection. I grinned and slid them down to meet my cargos. I didn't even kick them off just in case I had to pull them up in the event his roomate came home ( I honestly didn't even know if he had a roomie, but I wasn't going to take any chances). It felt so good just to be naked and hard with another guy, liberating almost. He sat down beside me, smiled, and rubbed my leg. I thought I was gonna explode right then. As he went down to start his business, I was almost shocked that it was happening. After years of jerking off, dreaming about guys, it was finally happening. I smiled. I had gotten head from girls a few times, but none of them even came close to what this guy was doing. Never before had I felt such a sensation like what walking man was giving me. Apparently, he had no gag reflex as he was able to take me to the base. I lasted all of about 15 seconds before I let out a little moan. Just as he pulled off and looked up at me, I erupted. Cum was going everywhere, my stomach, my thighs, his face. I thought I'd never stop cumming. I had never shot like that before. He laughed, and said, "Wow, that was fast." I was a little embarassed and apologized. He said it was no big deal and asked if I could go again. Seeing as I wasn't softening up, and still excited about the experience, I said, "Yeah, i believe I can". He sucked on me a little more. I lasted for a good bit this time. I guess his mouth got tired and he ended up above me taking both our cocks in his hand and double jerked us until my chest was covered with the results of his action. He toweled me off and gave me a kiss. I pulled up my shorts, got my shirt back on and said " Wow, that was great, thanks." He replied, "Anytime." He walked me to the front door and as I was leaving, he said, " I hoped you enjoyed your fantasy". I grinned and headed back to my car.
After meeting up with my friends, I couldn't take my mind off of what had happened. I felt a little guilty (probably due to my Catholic upbringing), but at the same time proud of myself for actually letting it happen. " Wow, if only they knew what i did earlier...heehee. They have no idea" I thought to myself as I finished off a beer.

Its funny looking back on it now. So innocent and naive was I, but it was a big deal at the time. Centennial Park is no longer the cruisy place it once was. Now, I live a few blocks away and do my running through the park several times a week. When jogging past the Parthenon, I often look at the spot where I met running man and give a little grin. What a long way I've come since then.

Win Some Lose Some

2006-12-31T17:23:00.000-05:00

Well...my beloved Tennessee Titans are done for the year. They put up a good fight against the Pats, but to no avail. I have no doubt in my mind that they will make it to the post season next year. Vince Young, turned this team around and turned a 0-5 start into .500 season, and more than likely will get rookie of the year for 2006.Way to go VY!! JP, congrats on your Giants making it into the playoffs, if it wasn't for Eli, I would be cheering them on. I guess I'll be rooting for the Pats in January, though.

On a winning note, the Nashville Predators shut out Boston last night 5-0. It was a very fun game. I thought I was gonna have shitty seats, but they turned out to be pretty good. In the section to my left was Vince Gill and Amy Grant. To my right was American Idol loser, Kellie Pickler. I do believe she is as stupid as she lets on. She's actually prettier in person, but also a lot shorter than I thought. I was mad that I didn't have my camera with me, as I would have had several ops to get a pic taken with her. Oh well, such is life. At least the Preds won.

I hope everyone has a very Happy and Safe New Year. BF and I are still trying to decide if we're going out or just staying in tonight. Either way, I'm fine. I'm just glad I have an extra day to sleep in. As promised, I will have the second half of yesterday's post up soon. Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone!!!!

Parthenon and the Walking Man

2006-12-30T17:52:00.000-05:00

For those that have never been to Nashville, which I imagine is the majority, I highly recommend a visit. It truly is a lot more than country music and cowboy boots. For being in the south, it’s actually quite a laid back little city. And being the publishing and music recording capitol of the world, it is rather gay friendly. (Though, I wouldn’t suggest walking hand in hand through some parts of the city). I'm going to occasionally try to post photos that I've shot from around town to show some of the neat things to be found here. I hope you enjoy them. This first one is the Parthenon, an exact replica from the plans of the original found in Greece. Built in 1896 as part of the World Expo/Tennessee Centennial Celebration, it was restored several years ago. Its located in Centennial Park, my favorite of many parks found here. It is also where I met my first trick.

It was a beautiful late spring evening. The sun was just beginning to descend below the horizon. My mind was bouncing between my high school graduation in two weeks and what I wanted to do with my last summer before college. I was driving around, killing time before meeting up with friends later. I pulled into McDonalds to get a couple of burgers and a coke. Being that it was so nice out, and the fact that the park entrance was basically right there, I decided to drive through the park and find a nice place to eat. I was looking for a good spot, when I noticed a tall guy walking along the way. As I passed by him I heard a resounding, "Hey!!". I knew exactly what he was "heying" at, since the park was known as a particularly cruisy place at the time. I continued on for a few hundred yards before finding a good place to pull over and eat. I was almost finished with my first burger when I noticed the walking man sitting on a nearby picnic table casting glances my way. I thought for a minute, and told myself, "Fuck it, let's see what happens." Upon this decision my heart started racing and I totally lost my appetite. I threw away my remaining McDs and walked towards the Parthenon. I walked about half way around it and sat down on the side steps. I looked back to see if walking man was following. He was nowhere to be seen. I was a bit disappointed, but at the same time relieved that he was gone. I sat there for a moment looking out over the grassy lawn. " I must be crazy", I thought to myself. "I can't believe what I was about to do. When is this gay phase gonna pass?" As I was about to get up to go back to my car, I heard a noise behind me. I turned to see walking man emerging from behind one of the large pillars....

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Sorry guys, I don't mean to leave ya hangin'. I've run outta time right now. It's hockey night and I gotta get ready to head downtown for the game. I'll finish up what happened in the next post.

Peace

New Lesson Learned

2006-12-29T20:19:00.000-05:00

DOH!!! I can't fucking believe it. I was a paragraph away from a great post, with a great story, and I lose my GD connection. I had typed for over an hour on it, and its fucking gone. Arghhh.. I guess I'll just have to start typing my posts in Word before putting it up for publishing. Makes me so mad!!! I promise I'll recreate what i was typing.

Trying to Be a Better Blogger

2006-12-28T18:57:00.000-05:00

First off, I’d like to give a big THANKS to Tim over at I Think I Might Be Gay. He was kind enough to link my blog on his side-bar. My first link. WooHoo! I feel so special. So, Thank You, Tim!! My hits have increased dramatically. Everyone should check out his blog. I’m sure a lot of us can relate to what he is going through, whether we’re already out or just thinking about it. Also, I would like to thank Micifus. For it was his site that motivated me to start my own little blog and also led me to Tim’s. So, Thank You too, Phil! Ive enjoyed catching a glimpse into your lives and look forward to more.

As for my own blog...anyone who would like to give any tips on ways to improve it, feel free to comment or email me with suggestions. Layout, graphics, am I too wordy? You won't hurt my feelings.
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Ok, just one more day til the weekend. I think I can make it. For a short week, it has felt like an eternity. Im so glad New Year’s Day is falling on a Monday. I need another long weekend. Hopefully, I’ll have a chance to work on my blog a little bit. Time is scarce, though. It’s a busy weekend here in the Music City. Aside from UK and Clemson meeting here for their big bowl game tomorrow, the Predators take on those pesky Boston Bruins Sat. night (we’ve got decent seats that night). And the Colorado Avalanche comes to town Monday (fuckin’ great seats for this one). And of course my new friend, Vince Young, will hopefully be taking the Titans to a victory over the Patriots on Sunday to keep our playoff dreams alive (no seats for this one). With the Pats & Bruins, there should be a good handful of Bostonians in town this weekend. BF and I will have to scour Craig’s List to see if anyone needs a little southern hospitality. Heehee.

Now, if I could just find out where Tom Brady will be staying.

Long Lost Joel

2006-12-27T16:40:00.000-05:00

Well, I wasn't too hung over from the $8 arena beers, and luckily not too broke either. BF bought most of them since I payed for the tickets. Our initial seats were pretty crappy nosebleeds, but we quickly scoped out and moved to some empty seats down low, and enjoyed the rest of the game. The Preds didn't play all that well. We won in an overtime shootout. The Blues have lost to the Predators 12 straight times now. OK, enough about hockey.

I'm sitting here at my desk, bored off my ass. The holidays have left me with little work. I suppose its a good thing, considering how crazy my job usually is this time of the month. I should probably just enjoy it while I can. In my boredom I was googling various things/people. I did a search on a boy I used to really like (maybe even love), named Joel.

Joel and I worked and hung out together a good bit when I was in college. I haven't seen or talked to him in many years. I actually moved away without even saying goodbye. I came across where he just bought a house not far from where I lived in Knoxville. I did a bit more searching and found the address and phone number. I'm very tempted to contact him, but I'm afraid it would be too awkward. I don't even know what I'd say.

A little background on Joel.... I first met Joel when he applied for a job at the restaurant I was working. I was a 21 year old cook, he was an under qualified 15 year old, so he was hired as a dishwasher. He was a little punk-ass skater/thug wannabe, I was a typical dope smoking on again/off again college student that just worked so I could afford tickets to the next Grateful Dead show. Needless to say, Joel and I didn't really have much in common aside from getting high. Several months later the guy who worked with me on the line moved on to better things, and my boss thought it would be a good idea for me to train Joel (now 16) as my new assistant in the kitchen. So, not having much of a choice I was forced to work side by side with this kid. It didn't take long until we started to get to know each other better. We worked the late late shift so we had plenty of time to hang out and talk. Joel had a hard time of it growing up. He was definitely not a child of privilege. Turns out that he had dropped out of high school to work and help his mom pay the bills. I found it nice that behind his "tough ass, don't fuck with me" facade was a very warm, caring, and vulnerable guy. Whenever he would share something personal about his life, I would always have to promise that I wouldn't say anything to anyone. It was cute.

Joel never could afford a car, so I would always take him home after work. One night on the way home we were waiting at a stoplight. Joel turned to me and said, "Will...if you were gay, I really wouldn't care, it wouldn't bother me." I was stunned. I didn't know what to say at first. You see, I was very deep in the closet at the time. "How could he know?", I thought in my head. I swallowed hard and said, "Well, that's good. Why would you think that, though?" Turns out this girl at work who used to like me, but i refused all her advances, made some comic jab at me and called me gay. I told Joel, "Oh, that bitch calls everyone gay." I didn't confirm or deny the accusation. He never mentioned it again.

Life continued in the closet for me. Joel would continue to share things with me that he would never tell anyone else. I would jokingly refer to myself as his therapist. After a few months, Joel got fired. I was devastated. No more late night drives home. Joel would still come by my house and hang out, but due to conflicting work schedules our visits became fewer and fewer. It came to a point where we would only see each other on rare occasion. Strangely enough, toward the end, Joel would always greet me with a hug. Still so in the closet, i never had the courage to ask him if he was gay. Probably the best, because if he had said yes, I would have jumped his under-age bones on the spot. Anyway, the last time I saw him, he had finally bought a car. He was so proud and came to my work to show me. I was so happy for him. I remember the parting hug lasted a little longer than normal. I just wanted to hold him forever. He was now 18 and legal tender, but I still tried nothing. Three weeks later, I was loading up the moving van, and heading to Nashville, never to see or speak to Joel again. If I have one regret in life, it's that I waited way too long to come out. I still think of him often.

So, here I am pondering if I should send him a letter. No way, I would just call him out of the blue. I think writing would be better. Maybe just send an anonymous letter telling him to email me. My luck would be that he doesn't have a computer. Maybe I'm just crazy and holding on to feelings that I should have lost a long time ago. Perhaps I should just leave well enough alone.

Anyway, that's the Joel story, so if I mention him in future posts, you'll know who I'm talkin about.

Xmas over

2006-12-26T18:49:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Mine was as good as to be expected. Dinner with my Dad's side of the family on Xmas Eve. Brunch on Xmas morning/afternoon w/ the 'rents and my 2 sisters and nephew. Nothing too exciting. Its fun having a little one (1.5 yrs old) around for a change...until he starts to cry. Sometimes I think god made me gay so I wouldn't have children. I really don't think I would ever have the patience for it. BF was gone most of the weekend but got home from his family's place in East Tn. Xmas evening. We ate leftovers, traded gifts, caught a good buzz, had great sex and went to bed. Its funny how good sex is when your mate is gone for a little bit. I get so worked up lookin at porn and bein a tease w/ the guys in the chat rooms...by the time bf gets home Im ready to explode. And usually do not long after.

We're about to leave for the hockey game. Nashville is up against the St Louis Blues tonight. Should be a good game. I just need to pace myself on the $8 beers, or I'll find myself broke and hungover in the morning. I know what you may be thinking..."hockey? How Butch!!"...well, yeah, it is. Not only is it a great place to boywatch, but I actually love the game too.

So, Here We Go

2006-12-22T20:02:00.000-05:00

If I have to see or hear another ad for Hardees/Carls Jr., I'm going to puke. That voiceover guy needs to be silenced. And the way they love to key in on the sounds of the food and the wrappers...UGH!! They can take their chili cheese burger and stick up their ass. I mean, really..... who eats that shit anyway? I sure don't, and not just because of their annoying ads.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. From what I can remember, I stayed up way too late with BF after we got home from the hockey game. The Preds lost to Buffalo 2-7..."bad Preds". No telling how many beers we had at the game, but the drinking continued on well after. It was a gloomy Nashville morning, and the alarm clock was the last thing I wanted to hear. I hit the snooze an extra time before i struggled out of bed. BF had the day off and was sleeping away. I was jealous.
I made it to work 15 minutes late, head still throbbing. There was nothing going on today, so I was able to nap on and off in my office. I work with the financial field, so when Banks are slow, I am too. Being the Friday before Xmas, it was quiet, so I left around 1:00. I came home and took BF to a late lunch at the little mexican place we like. After a good Margarita the remains of the pains brought on from last night quickly vanished. All was good again in the world.
Three days til Xmas and still no presents purchased...doh. I guess I better bite the bullet and just head to the mall.
I'm creating this Blog as an outlet for venting and reflection. If you are offended by anything gay, adult oriented, or anything else I say, I'm not sorry. You don't have to read it, so piss off!
To those who don't care, I welcome you and hope you like what you read. I really don't know much about creating blogs, so bear with me as I learn.

Peace